Am I ready for marriage?
I am excited about my upcoming trip to Vegas for two reasons; one I will have the chance to spend some time with my Mom. Two, we're planning on touring some venues to possibly host my wedding. Now how can I start a post with my question and be excited about planning a wedding? Perhaps, because they are two very different things.
I am excited about the joy of planning this day and yet there are some issues within our relationship. Sometimes, I find myself wondering if marriage is what I want with this person? Then there are other times when I can't wait to start a family with him. I am deeply in love with my guy, I just wonder about little things.
Can I be everything he wants me to be? Can he be everything I want him to be?
They say money and sex can be the root of the problem in every relationship. I am finding that to be very true. While I am on the fast track to establishing my career, he's going through a career change. His industry has changed and in a way makes it difficult to attain the level of success others have had in the past, including him.
So now he's going through the period of finding himself and testing other industries. I support him completely during this transition and I know it's been hard. However, a part of me wonders will things pick up for him? If not, am I okay with being the "breadwinner"?
I work my ass off to provide myself pleasures I desire without relying on a man to supply them for me. At the same time, I want to empower my guy to be the head of our household. How do you do that when you are financially taking care of the household as the woman?
I've been struggling with these thoughts for most of this year. I by no means want to leave my guy simply because he's not making more than me. But I can't help but have these feelings every time I pay a house bill. As a result of these feelings, my level of intimacy has changed. One has a direct effect on the other.
I mentioned wanting to do premarital counseling just to ensure we're heading the right direction...
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