As I continue on this journey with My Guy, I learn so much about myself and being in a relationship. The more involved you are the more complex things become (duh). Again, this is my second “real” relationship since being in my 20s (nothing else counts at this point of my life). There are so many things we’re experiencing together; in fact let me break it down by topics:
Jobs (or in my case lack thereof):
He’s been in between gigs really since late 2007. You see he was one of those “big bad mortgage loan people”. As far as school he didn’t go beyond high school, but despite that he’s been able to earn a decent living. While working in the mortgage game he was on top of the world. He was making 250k a year and one bonus check from buying a Maserati. He’s mentioned the car dream in a reminiscent tone on several occasions (lol). I recall him telling me about his glory days when we first met, it wasn’t in a bragging manner just him telling me about himself.
I even had feelings of resentment on a few occasions. Here I am in grad school and I have never made 60k let alone anything beyond. Yet things are so much different when you’re a white man. The rules seem to always be slightly different. Anyway, when we met he working for a software company as a salesman. He often complained about the job. He was mainly upset at the money he was making (at the time it was around 70k). Again cry me a freaking river. But I guess if I was making 200k and then downsized to 70k, there may be some psychological issues. He quit that job in September or October (cant recall off hand) because he was tired of “not making any real money”. He then decided he would wait until 2009 and get back with this mortgage company. This is what he knows and wants to do. To be honest I wouldn’t consider this his passion, but I do think it’s an addiction to the level of money that can be earned in this industry.
Well we all know the housing market is shot to hell. So he’s slowly entering the industry. He’s now working in loan modification. What’s funny is some of the cases he’s working on are the very ones he closed a few years back. It appears to be one of the laws of nature making things come back full circle. He’s been a little down because in addition to his income adjustments he’s had to downsize on the lifestyle as well. I mention all of this NOT to just air our dirty laundry but to self-reflect on the typical issues couples will endure.
So then there’s me as of December 15, 2008 I am no longer employed, and my source of income is severance, student loans, and unemployment. So I clearly understand having to scale back on a few things. I guess this post was inspired by a comment he made this past Valentine’s Day (which was awesome, and I’ll discuss in another post). He told me I was the first girl in his life that he hasn’t just completely wined and dined and it’s affecting his pride. I told him I loved him for him and not what he’s buying me. Its funny how we tend to hide behind the superficial things to overcompensate for getting to know the core of SELF.
I have never loved nor felt so loved by anyone. There is no price on what we have. I love him for him, and its important for me to be there for him now more than ever. We both need each other…