Sunday, October 12, 2008

Sunday Blues :)

Am I really all that understanding and patient?

I was suppose to spend today with My Guy but he called this morning to cancel. His son asked to spend the day with him so they can watch football. Followed with a friend of his calling to invite him over to watch the games with him and his son. As he was telling me the news I’ll admit I was disappointed, yet I didn’t express my feelings. What am I suppose to say? Tell your son and friend no you have a prior commitment with your girlfriend? During this conversation he mentioned how understanding I am and he asked if I was cool with it. Again what the hell am I suppose to say? I didn’t really feel the need to explain my viewpoint nor did it really matter to me at the time. But now I am thinking about the situation, which lead me to writing this post.

I haven’t seen him since last Sunday due to his new work schedule (he was in training last week from 9 to 9). I didn’t really have anything special planned for today, but I was looking forward to spending some time with him. As I think about this and my feelings I have to review the facts about our relationship.

1. Weekends (Friday & Saturday) are for him and his son, with the exception of occasional times we can get together. I knew this going in. Before him, I used my weekends to get caught up on my schoolwork and not to mention I had class on Saturday mornings. So theoretically this was the perfect arrangement. But of course as you get closer to a person you want to spend even more time together.

2. I cannot expect nor ask him to ever feel like he has to choose between his son and me. In fact, I don’t ever want that to be an issue. But when he says I am so understanding, I can’t help but wonder REALLY?? The fact of the matter is I am never going to tell him to ditch his son to come and kick it with me. So I guess I am understanding in that regards.

I guess this is just an example of challenges relationships will endure. A part of me wishes there wasn’t a child involve. Yes, it’s very selfish because I want my time with him when I want it, lol. But a kid will never be a deal breaker in reality. I love everything about him, which is why it hurt me when he had to cancel today. But what am I suppose to do?

On a side note: I do have a shit load of homework due tomorrow evening. In fact, I am on campus now taking a break from doing my work. So again, things worked out perfect in terms of him canceling since I had homework anyway. BUT THAT ISNT THE POINT, LOL…

2 comments:

Hawa Bond said...

In spite of your personal feelings, you are quite understanding... because you give the space even though you want to be selfish. LOL

And girl... it doesn't get any better even when you move in. My fiance lives with me and my two sons, and somehow we still don't get enough. If something comes up over the weekend to interrupt our time, we pout in private like little kids - even when we know we'll attend the "interruption" together. hehe

I am just thrilled that you're still in love and the two of you are really settin' it off!

= = = = = =
Give to classroom projects in high-poverty schools via DonorsChoose 2008: Friends of Fackin Truth Blog (Participating via the AfroSpear with Black Bloggers for Education).

j.a.c. said...

yeah girl. ain't much for you to say. his son comes first. if you continue to be as understanding as you are, chances are that you'll progress into a situation where you'll see him ALL THE TIME. now that's worth waiting for.

What I Have To Say