Thursday, July 24, 2008

When You've Got It Bad...

As I am floating into space and reminiscing on the times I share with My Guy, I can’t help but over analyze everything damn thing. What am I expecting from this man so quickly? Why am I not in better control of my feelings? Why am I even tripping in the first place? This may all seem a little redundant and it is. At this point, I am recording any and all thoughts/emotions I am experiencing during this relationship. I can’t wait to reflect on all of this several months from now.

So My Guy came over Monday evening, and I knew I wanted to have a “talk” with him. There was no real point or purpose to my “talk”. I guess I was seeking more validation for my feelings and a clearer picture of how he feels about me. But why do I need this reassurance when his actions clearly display how he feels about me (because I am woman and that’s what we freaking do). During this conversation I asked what exactly is he doing differently since this seems to be the theme of our relationship. He said for one thing, he calls me just to talk. Since he has to talk on the phone a lot during the work week he usually doesn’t like to have extended phone conversations on his off days. However, he finds himself wanting to talk to me over the phone at times just to see what and how I am doing (awe how sweet). He also shared with me the fact that usually when he finds himself in a relationship that is getting too heavy too soon he backs off, but he’s not running away from what he’s feeling with me.

After hearing all of this it brought some clarity to the situation. But it wasn’t everything I wanted to hear. Again what the hell was I truly expecting? I know; I think you’re the one for me and I am ready to move further down the line. But what the hell am I thinking? (Yes, I am really talking to myself during this post). I know he likes me just as much as I like him. He’s proven that already, I guess just hearing the words straight out rater than the action is what I am looking for. So anyhow, I bought him some underwear. His sweet little dog has an adorable habit of eating his underwear when he’s doing laundry or leaving them around. I thought it would be a cute idea to buy him some. I’ve actually never bought underwear for a guy before. I also didn’t realize how expensive they are for freaking 2, lol. I bought him 2 packs and decided to personalize them. I had a fabric maker from last Halloween and decided to write cute notes on the inside waistband. I wrote “Sexy” and “I miss you”.

To my surprise he really loved the fact that I bought him underwear. He said it was the sweetest gift he’s gotten in a while. GO ME!!! He even made the comment “my girlfriend bought me underwear”. This brings up another point. I hear this phrase being thrown around occasionally and I wonder when did I earn this title. Its like I am taking it back to grade school, I want to be asked formally, lol. As if I would say no. But its like, do I now tell people I have a boyfriend? I have not been formally introduced to anyone just yet so I am not sure what he would say when that happens…

To be continued

3 comments:

PreciousGem-Refinement in Progress said...

It's a common belief that women fall in love through our eargate. That's why a man's "rap game" can often get him far. You need to hear the feelings that he's showing. It's confirmation on what you already know. Keep having fun!

T.C. said...

let him show you...words without actions don't really measure up...i defintiely understand wanting to hear it, but let him show you...that's what i have learned from my recent experience a man's actions mean so much more than his words (since a foll can normally talk his way out of a paper bag) because he'll always show you how he really feels and how he really sees you...

just keep having fun and enjoy the ride!

j.a.c. said...

I'm 100% with you on this post. US women need to hear every single utterance until we're satisfied. I'm actually feeling the same thing right now. My ex emailed me a week ago saying that he thinks about me and wonders if we should work on the relationship. Of course I know what it means, but what exactly are you trying to say! Are you saying you were wrong?! Are you saying you want to get back with me? What's this wondering bit? Am I supposed to piece this together on my own? Don't email me. Talk to me! lol. I truly feel you on this.

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