Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Age Is More Than A Number, And I Need An Older Man

On the contrary to what myself and others may think, age is an important issue when selecting a: date, jumpoff, and a mate. I admit I proudly shouted “Age Ain’t Nothing But A Number” (thanks to Aaliyah) after all I was always a bit mature for my age (lol). I always had a thing for older men, even my prom date was 23 while I was 16. I never really dated too many guys my age for whatever reason.

Recently there’s been this huge trend in the “cougar” phenomenon, older women dating significantly younger men. Usually you will find these women in their 40s and 50s dating men in their 20s and 30s. I’ve always been one to never knock anyone’s hustle and that’s not the point of this post. But why are these women dipping in the college frat houses for men at such a pinnacle moment of their lives? Again, its not judgment, it’s truly a questions of the intent or interest. Is this validation that you can still get your groove on?

I am currently (sort of) “seeing” this guy from my program who is actually younger than me, and things aren’t really going in my favor (which may be why I am basis to this topic). The purpose of this relationship (in my opinion) was to have a jump off type of situation. We can kick it every now and then especially since I see him in class, but nothing really serious. He’s 23 and I’m 28; this may appear to not be a big deal. However, it’s starting to lose its novelty. Our lives are some what parallel. He’s starting out in life, whereas I am more or less looking for someone who is stable and figured out what they want to do.

Even on a shallow level, let’s talk about the sex. This is the primary reason he and I started spending more time together. At 28, I am very comfortable with my sexuality. I have no time for games, and I take pride in my skills. This is something that only came to me with age and maturity. At 23 I clearly didn’t know what I was doing, which is why I feel Mr. Youngin’ isn’t able to satisfy me on a level I am use to. With all things being equal, older men know how to stimulate and please a woman sexually. It’s ideal to have a mate who can teach you a thing or two. But I didn’t sign up to be tutor especially in the sex game. I don’t have the patience, which is why I am not a teacher.

So you may ask what’s wrong or what is he not doing? For starters he fucks me like a prostitute (jack rabbit style). I understand we are not in love like some married couple, but I need you to be a little more passionate about what you’re doing. I also need you become in sync with my body, get to know her a little better. He’s not a kisser, which is a turn off for me. Kissing is usually my indicator of chemistry, and typically people who don’t kiss aren’t confident in their skills. I did get a kiss during one session and I see why he doesn’t kiss. The very first time was wack, and so I figured maybe it was just the first time jitters. It amused me when he got dressed under the comforters. I’m not saying I am ready to pose for Playboy, but I need you to be a little more secure with your body.

I also admit it’s my fault for not mentioning this to Mr. Youngin’, instead I’d rather just not fuck with you like that any more (LOL). But how do you have that conversation without offending someone? Looking back when I was in my early 20s, I too didn’t know what the hell I was doing. I also didn’t mind my guys coaching me (after all they were older). But men have pride and I don’t want to hurt his feelings. My suggestion is stick with the young women, they don’t know. He’s a smart and logical guy, I’m sure if general consensus showed your sex game is wack he would reevaluate his situation. So maybe sticking to your immediate peer group may work out in his favor.


Anonymous said...

Haha...I have to agree with this post. I remember one time meeting a guy, and we went out for awhile, but didn't take it to the next level. My friends asked why, and I said, "because he can't kiss! It's awful!" I was afraid of what else was to come. I also love older men- the ones who have confidence, financial security (I'm not a gold digger, I just have no time for a man who can't pay his cell phone bill until his next paycheck...lol), and who know how to treat a woman w/respect.

PS- love the gray template color- the red was making me see stars...lol.

Ms. Confessions said...

Yeah a good kisser and an older guy is always a good combo :)

I'm glad you like the new colors, my bad for blinding my readers...lol

Blu Jewel said...

Like you, I think kissing is truly indicative of ones prowess in bed. My motto, "if you can't kiss; you can't fuck". It's proven itself to be true.

That aside, you should find a way to tell the youngun that he's skills are lacking because if you don't, he's going to keep thinking he's doing well when he's not. In addition, you're settling for less than quality sex, which isn't what you need when you're looking for satisfaction. Okay, so he may not take it well, at first, but if he really wants to be a MAN, he'll see you're doing him a favor. You're enhancing his skills and making him a quality lover and not a dud.

Lastly, don't let me sic Mistress on you, you know she'd blast you for sexing down instead of up. *lol*


The Love Collective said...

You should buy him a present, "The Joy of Sex," it's a book that he will get the hint immediately and raise his game, or bail the hell out. Either way, it's a win-win for you.

The Pussy Cat Bitch said...

LMAO. Girl, I so understand. I once fucked this dude who was completely clueless. (we were the same age) It’s like, I had to coach him how to fuck!! I’m like “ No sweety, the hole’s here, not there.” It was weird. I often pondered if he’d watched porn, because he would ALWAYS miss the hole, come prematurely and worse, blame me. Oh, boy, I’m glad those awkward sex days are over. LOL. Nice post.

P.S. He was a bad kisser--no passion.

Ms. Confessions said...

Blu- Amen on the kissing philosophy :)
At this point, I don’t even have the energy to talk to him about it. Something else happened (not sure if its even blog worthy) but I am done with him. I was bored and thought I’d try something new, LOL.
I’ve got to step it up for all of my sexually liberated women..haha

I could care less at this point..LOL I’ve got someone else to play good games with and he is definitely on point (we have history together).

Pussy Cat- You feel my pain (lol). Shouting from the top of my lungs “NEXT”… haha

tortured_authoress said...

The only thing OLD that I want is MONEY! lol

In my early twenties, I dated a dude who was ten years older than myself. I got BORED with his tookus really quickly and decided that it wasn't my bag. Older men are a pain to get rid of also. lol

I prefer a five year range older and younger than myself.

PreciousGem-Head to Toe Quality said...

I have always dealt with older men too, until my recent "lover". In a way I am trying to get away from older men and they seem to love me! As far as sex goes, I've gotten "I'm tired" from older men more times than I find amusing. You're tired, WTF?!!

Southern_Lady said...

I am relating to this post on so many levels. I dated a 23-yr-old, even though, then I was 26 (same difference.). The extracurricular activities, nor the conversation was up to par for me.

Bad kissers...ick!

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