So in the land of Corporate America and really society there are so many double standards. But in additions to these conditional standards there’s a strong need to live by the rules of Covering Your Ass (CYA). This rule is important for any person trying to climb the rigorous ladder to success but it is more crucial to any person of color (particularly Black). This is by no means exclusive to the "rat race". If you want to have any type of clout in this country there's an endless set of rules and standards to the game.
So as a person working in this sector I already have two strikes against me: I am a woman and I am African American, but more threatening I am an EDUCATED African American woman. I find myself in numerous “confrontational” situations, yet I have to always digress and think of a diplomatic way of approaching the issue. God forbid my natural ability to speak up for myself and be opinionated will be misinterpreted as me being an angry black woman. Am I suppose to allow people to walk over me, insult my intelligence, and assume shit about me while maintaining a smile on my face and playing dumb? I think not! Fuck you for thinking you’re smarter than me because you’re of a different race! Fuck you for thinking I am suppose to be under you! Fuck you for thinking MOST blacks don’t have a desire or the qualifications to be successful!
I have to ALWAYS be on my P’s & Q’s. If I am in an atmosphere filled with “others”, I find myself having to feel like putting my best foot forward. It isn’t about not being myself. But I have taking it upon myself to always represent myself and my people in a positive manner. If I can leave a pleasant and surprising/reassured impression of myself to a stranger then I feel a natural high. Particularly since moving to the south. You can smell and taste the racial undertones on a daily basis. But nothing brings me better pleasure than a judgmental prick left with a shock and awe factor after meeting me. Yes, I am very confident and it shows. I don’t need to say anything, as soon as I walk into a room my presence is commanding. It’s not a conceit thing at all. But this land is suppose to be yours and mine, so I will welcome myself in any establishment I deem worthy of my presence. So once again fuck you and kiss my ass!
So yes I am your worst nightmare. I am hungry and thirsty for power and respect. I’ll pay my dues for now, but believe I’ll reach the top and bring an entire generation of accomplished, intelligent, cooperative African American people with me…