Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Do I Need A Man?



I would say by both choice and circumstances I am still single.
I say choice because I refuse to give any man that title just for the sake of saying “I have a boyfriend”. While I never really had a problem attracting men, lately my current dating situation appears to resemble an open casting call for “The Bachelor Rejects”.

I say circumstances because I am not living in a city where quality men are just falling out of the sky (not sure what city would). I’m not sure when the mass memo on INFIDELITY IS OKAY was released, but it appears men seem to not be concerned with the fact that they are in relationships any more. So should I feel privileged that a man is willing to entertain me on the sideline? I’ve been there and recently recovering from that. The shoe didn’t fit me too well. Or maybe I am a spoiled brat and just don’t like sharing some things (like a man).

While I do have sexual urges that can be unbearable at times, is tolerating some extra bullshit in my life worth a good lay? It seems like the majority of my friends don’t know what they’re doing when it comes to relationships. So why can’t I be still, live life, and be happy without equating a man in the picture? Because I like being in the company of a good man. I enjoy being affectionate with the right man.
There’s only so much my female friends can do for me.

14 comments:

Views of Diversified Mind said...

Girl I totally understand. You can actually be just fine without a man. And yes, there is only so much your girl friends can do for you; that gets old anyway. Like I said to someone else keeping yourself busy such as working out, working, art shows, movies, book reading spots, spoken word, traveling, shopping, etc can get your attention for a while. Yes, its nice to have one, but these days its difficult to seek a single one without drama, without having had something, or just getting them to be monogomous or with someone whether married or in a relationship. Im not saying it can't be done, but its a slim possibility.

The best way to live life is to enjoy it without the thoughts of having a man in your life...harping on it daily or questioning why you don't have one; have an I don't care attitude and one will "fall out of the sky". This is for everyone...Having men/women with B.S. in your life is not worth having one at all; you definately don't need that in your life and vice versa. You may want a companion and nothing is wrong with that, BUT don't just accept anything that flocks your way...your better off single and that is what I have grown to learn.

You will be aight...just keep praying...as my momma always tells me. "Prayer changes things"

Black Girl Interrupted said...

There is nothing wrong with wanting the companionship of a good man. Like you said, the problem is trying to find a quality man. Its hard to maintain during those dry periods, but its important to keep the faith that a good man will come into your life. Like the above commenter said, its important to continue to develop yourself and your own interests. You just never know when someone will come along.

I think its good that you are holding out for what you want instead of taking whatever comes along. Wasting time with someone who is not worth your time is just senseless.

Have a good day!

T.C. said...

I think WE have to NOT settle and WE have to STOP looking...let them find us...there are some good brothers out there...just keep living your life and it will work out...I KNOW I KNOW that is so easier said than done...but at least I said it...LOL

Chap said...

Relationships are hard work. Especially between the black man and woman. But everything good takes work. If you just wanna date and be social, get on the scene and keep doing your thing. I feel you, companionshp and sex are an important necessity- don't let anybody fool you, it's torture without. You have to make yourself available. Work on you first, be open-minded, practical and fair. Don't lower your standards, but trust that God has a plan. Are you just sitting back, waiting for Prince Charming, or are you actively trying to meet new people, network and get it poppin? Magic happens unexpected and indirectly...

A woman on the move said...

@ black girl- Oh I know Mr. Right is out there! It’s funny how we tend to be so optimistic about other aspects of our lives, yet when it comes to a guy- its like “Oh well, he’s not out there”.

I want the best life has to offer professionally and personally, so naturally I will need a partner of the same caliber. Thanks for the love!!!

@T.C.- My girl!!
I take the pledge “Thou shall NOT settle and will NEVER look for just any man.” LOL
Its way too time consuming to “look” for the guy. It becomes an obsession and loosing battle.


@transformer- I appreciate a male’s perspective! I have spent the past few months focusing on me. That’s why I am so ready to share revised and constantly improving ME. LOL

My line of work forces me to be more social, but damn it when I say it’s flies to honey. ALL the freaks want to holla. And just when I think I have a guy with potential- out comes “I am in the process of getting a divorce” which usually means he thinks he can test the waters while in the mist of drama at home. LOL

The Pussy Cat Bitch said...

I know this sounds old but when you least expect it a great guy will pop up. It always happened to me. As soon as I’m about to throw in the towel, a great guy comes knocking at my door. (not literally) You just have to be a lil patient that’s all. Best of luck!!

The Mistress said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
The Mistress said...

Hopefully no woman "Needs" a man. I've never labeled myself as a feminist but I'm starting to think I am one. I can't relate to women who don't value their independence and feel like their lives are less valuable if there's no man around. Men are kinda like accessories...they can enhance your life but they shouldn't "complete" it. Fuck that shit. I complete ME!

Single Ma said...

Co-signing 'The Mistress.' Say that shyt again!

tI said...

Awww....that shit was sweet!! LOL! Ok, it caught me off guard, I thought it was going to be some male-bashing.
I hate to say this, but lot's of good men out there, just be patient. Lord knows we need all the help we can get. Y'all don't need us half as much as we need you, but some women just settle and men have forgotten to work for that shit. Then the guys who are worth and willing to work are probably either slow(guilty) or just plain boring...LOL!!

It sucks coz y'all so damn fine!! ;-D

Atl_Mack said...

Good Luck!!! Its important to have standards and not settle...

DivineLavender said...

I sho enough can't give you advice on where to find a good man, assuring you there are good men, etc, etc. I will be good and be nice...I hear you.

LOL

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