Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Where did the time go?
Time never seems to stand still anymore. July is knocking on August’s door followed by September (the month I was born). I will be 27 years old and I am wondering where the hell did time go? I feel like next month we’ll be saying “Happy Holidays!” It just began to hit me that I am not getting any younger. I can now round my age up to 30. I don’t mean to appear insensitive to anyone of this age or older. But I guess I am temporarily going through a post quarter life crisis.
I am not sure where exactly I thought I would be or what I would have accomplished by this age. Looking back I didn’t really have a road map past the age of 21. I knew what I wanted as far as material wise, I just didn’t have a game plan for getting those things on my own. I remember thinking I would be married and with a child by the age of 30. But the thought of all of that commitment frightens me as I get closer to that age. I am at point where I am just starting to figure out who I am and what I want truly out of life. I thought at this age I would be in a solid and meaningful relationship (not married and no kids). It’s been over a year since I’ve been in a “serious” relationship with a man. I spent the past 9 months (post breakup) in solitude trying to understand me and my needs. My sexual urges have grown out of control since my breakup. I discovered I enjoy sex and it’s something I like to do as often as possible. I quickly had to learn how to become my own best friend.
I am extremely under paid at my job. I bought into the dream of corporate america compensating people with college degrees and student loan debts. I spent my last 10 years in school (high school and college) learning things that never truly interest me or just seemed irrelevant to any useful real world daily knowledge. I work under someone who should perhaps look into some serious therapy, and maybe enroll in some evening correspondence classes.
It’s been almost three years since I moved to Dallas. And with every year I have had a few accomplishments (many of them were unplanned). I made a promise to myself to never live any year with the same issues or struggles, and with each year that passes new milestones are to be created and conquered. I am grateful for everything that has happened to me both good and bad. But one thing’s for sure; time waits for no one…