Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Can we be friends?


It is true with age comes wisdom? I recall when I became of the dating age, I exclusively dated older men. If I was 18 years old, then I wanted someone at least 24 years old. When I turned 21, I preferred guys who were in their late 20’s early 30’s. As I become accustomed to the tender age of 26, I have come to the realization that people mature on their own terms and timing. Just because a person is older doesn’t necessarily mean they are smarter or less likely to play any games.

So at my age I am not particularly looking for men in a certain age bracket. In fact, I don’t have a problem dating someone the same age as me. At what age or point in life does a person decide they have tried all there is and is willing to turn in their player card? I suppose you will get a better indication when you’re involved with someone who completes you and inspires you to retire from the game.

So during this time of active dating, I have discovered a few things about myself. I believe I am looking for a stable companionship with a man at this time, and less of a “boyfriend”. I want the exclusive rights as far as physical, but I am not interested in locking down or feeling obligated to another person. I find myself sometimes wanting to be around a particular man but then I’ll soon feel like my personal space is being crowded. I don’t want to be in a situation where we are seeing each other 24/7. I suppose this is why I don’t want a boyfriend. Once you are in a situation with a title (i.e. girlfriend/boyfriend) things seem to change drastically and fast.

I want the perks of an exclusive relationship (more so physically) but not the responsibility. I don’t mind being supportive of my companion and there for him when needed. But I don’t want to get to a point where my lifestyle has to change because I have to think about how every decision I make will personally affect you. And I am not at a point where I want to merge my world into someone else’s. But I am looking for a few good friends…

6 comments:

F'n Falcon said...

You want to have yer cake and eat it toooo.
Cha

A woman on the move said...

Is that really the case? As long as I am not calling myself someone’s girl, isn’t everything else fair game? That’s why I am not in a committed relationship. I am only looking for an exclusive companionship.

F'n Falcon said...

Then it may help if you explain your definition of companionship. "Exclusive companionship" is definitely leaning toward gf/bf if you ask me. "exclusive", is the noose in no strings attached.
Get a rope.

A woman on the move said...

In my opinion I believe a companion is a particular person I can relate to on all levels. He’s a great friend, he’s someone I can talk to, we enjoy each others interests and hobbies, and he’s a person who adds positive elements to my life (vice versa).

When I say exclusive companionship, I am referring to the exclusive rights when it comes to establishing a physical relationship with my companion. The purpose of having a person as a companion as oppose to my man is mainly the freedom of not feeling obligated. When you’re boyfriend/girlfriend you are structured together as one unit moving towards a common goal/objective. Instead of concentrating on self development and elevation you become consumed with your partner’s world, and in some cases loose yourself.

In a companionship there are no rules other than treating that person in the same manner you wish to be treated. Many people rush into “their relationship” rather than take the time to become good friends and see ultimately how we compliment each other. Again, this is strictly my opinion. At this time a companionship would be more convenient for me than being someone’s lady. It’s less stress and drama that way.

F'n Falcon said...

Top of the morning to ya!

Views of Diversified Mind said...

Very Interesting thoughts from everyone; including the author. I guess anyone can call a "relationship" whatever you like. They are all some type of relationship whether its exclusive or not. I enjoy good company. I have a guy in my life whom is a great friend which I trust, the physical is there, the mental is there, the social is there, we enjoy each other's company and we compliment not complete each other. At this point in my life; this is the type of relationship I was looking for and I like it. You will eventually "catch" some type of feelings, but you can stop them from going so deep to where you lose yourself; your not supposed to lose yourself anyway in any relationship. Title's to me are so overrated and there are so many different definitions for them; including the definitions in individuals minds. The only title that I can understand is marriage because its a sacred bond between two people that take vows before God, but everything else...I dunno.

I know Im a little late commenting on this one...but I wanted to anyway

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