Sunday, June 11, 2006

The Bird and The Bird Watcher...

Due to a recent disturbing trend in the dating game among female players, I have decided to create an objective self evaluation/ analysis of a woman's dating situation. The purpose of this analysis is to determine whether or not you as a woman are living life as a bird or a bird watcher? The term bird is actually a metaphor a male friend of mine uses to describe women, and I found the pet name rather amusing. The bird watcher is a term my best friend and I came up with in a counter-response to his bird term. Okay, now you've been given the brief explanation of the two terms I will refer to for the duration of this post.

Are you a Bird in a Holding Pattern?

1. Are you currently seeing/involved with a man who has a wife or a girlfriend?
Yes or No

2. How long have you been waiting in the wing for your big break?
(if longer than 1 month continue on)

3. Is this guy there for you whenever you need him to be? Yes or No

4. Are you staying in this situation as a compensation for loneliness or an emptied void?
Yes or No

5. Do you feel this man is always completely honest with you? Yes or No

6. Are you patiently waiting/tolerating the circumstance because you believe he genuinely loves you? Yes or No

7. When you are all alone and reflective of this situation, do you have any sense of doubt about what you're doing? Yes or No

8. Are your close friends against your relationship with this guy? Yes or No

* If you have answered YES to more than 4 questions its time to fine tune your wings my little feathered friend. Do not feel bad about the self discovery; every woman has been a bird at some point in her life. It has nothing to do with your upbringing, current background, lifestyle, or level of intelligence. And please do not look at being a bird as a bad thing. Consider this analysis as a way of unmasking the true swan you are meant to be. You do not stand alone!*

Are you The Bird Watcher?

1. Do you have a friend who is currently seeing a man who she knows has a live in family or complicated situation? Yes or No

2. Have you given constructive criticism or point of views about the situation? Yes or No

3. Do find yourself having to monitor your friend's behavior when it comes to her dealings with this guy? Yes or No

4. Does it frustrate you that your friend could be so willing to participant in such madness? Yes or No

5. Are you secretly jealous of your friend's relationship with this guy? Yes or No

6. Do you personally know the guy who is the object of your friend's desire? Yes or No

7. Are you setting good relationship standards yourself (Are you practicing what you preach)? Yes or No

8. Do your friends value your concerns and advice? Yes or No

*If you have answered YES to more than 5 questions you are the bird watcher. It is your duty to the birds to make sure your dear friend doesn't loose herself while chasing a dream. Leadership and communication skills are crucial to encourage your friend to make better choices. However, as a watcher you must use strategic strategies when voicing your opinions. The worst thing you can do is come off as a bitter, unhappy, and jealous friend. You also have to voice your concerns in a way that won't offend your girl. Honesty and sincerity is the best way to deal with a bird who's flying low.*

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