Men, Men, Men For the life of me I can't seem to understand the whole dating thing. I just got out of a serious relationship, because we were moving in two different directions. We were college sweethearts (if that's what you want to call it). Intially we were friends for the first two years of knowing each other. He was actually a great friend. I put myself in a lot of compromising positions when I was around, because I was so comfortable with him. He never once took advantage of that. One day we decided to cross the friendship boundaries and we ended up together.
He was my complete opposite. Here I was big city Cali girl and he was from a small town in Louisiana. I had a very blessed childhood growing up. I pretty much got close to whatever I thought I needed and wanted. He on the other hand, grew up very poor. In fact, I had never known anyone personally so less privileged. I was extremely materialistic and my life revolved around superficial things. My appearance meant the world to me, and still does. He was totally the opposite; he didn't shave, didn't really have a huge selection of clothes to choose from, and drove a bucket (yes I was a car hop once upon a time ago). I drove a pretty new car at the time (and I still have my Honda accord).
Despite these differences I tried to make things work to the best of my abilities. A lot of my friends didn't understand the connection. He was great and had plenty of friends. But he was the guy that everyone knew and liked, but didn't necessarily date. He treated me like a princess, the healthiest relationship I had ever had. But he isn't very ambitious and continues to be stuck in the same place with no drive for better things. Which is why we broke up, I am extremely goal oriented and I want to be and get the best of out life. This guy had and still has a very promising future ahead if he could just think out of the box. But there's only so much I can do. I can be your supporter and even your backbone, but I can't have the dream/goal for you. And that's where our roads split. As I get older and the years continue to role by, I have to keep moving up and advancing. I refuse to let 365 days pass me by and still be in the same situation.
Against what some thought was a bad move, I discontinued the relationship. Yes, I loved him with all of my heart, but I wasn't happy. After college I moved on and he wasn't ready to do the same. I could no longer stay in relationship just for the sake of having a man. What good is it to be a relationship when you are not happy?
So here I am back on the dating scene after some ME time. And boy can I pick them. Men if you are in a situation i.e. baby mama, girlfriend, or worst have a wife, please be upfront in the beginning. That's my latest problem. I keep attracting men with "situations". I know I am the common denominator in this equation, but I do not purposely seek these types of men. The problem is false advertisement, on their parts. You give the half truth or withhold information, and the truth always seems to come out in the end.
I recently met an older guy. Didn't really put too much on it, just hung out a few times. I wasn't even attracted to him like that. Well, he intially told me about his two sons in college and he was going through a divorce (this is the red flag ladies). Still we hung out a few times, again nothing major to me. Well over dinner one night, he slips and tells me about two more children he has, 17 and 15 years old. Now, I am thinking what the hell. That's four people who automatically come before me, way too much baggage for a girl. He gives the impression that he's a single father. I asked where their mother was, and he answered "somewhere in Dallas". At this point we had a few drinks and I made the mental note and moved on to the next topic. A week later, I called to meet up with him during my lunchbreak at Starbucks. I asked what he was doing, and he starts laughing and casually throws out he and his "old lady" got into it and he's looking for a new place. Made another mental note, I didn't get mad or start asking any questions. I got off the phone and didn't mention the Starbucks idea. I immediately deleted his number out of my cell and washed my hands of his madness. Again, we hung out 3-4 times and never once did he mention he lived with someone. And we talked candid about everything else. Now, where in the hell did this "old lady" come from and I thought he lived alone...