It’s weird to even say or write 2010. For the past few days I’ve have this overwhelming need to make changes this year. I am no different than everyone else with the same promises. I have no resolution and I continue to make sure every year has personal progression. I don’t believe in making the same mistakes over and over, year after year.
There are a few major life-changing decisions that need to be address during this year’s first quarter. The first is my living situation with My Guy. We have plans to move in together this spring or summer. Last night we had a serious conversation about the magnitude of our plans. For him, he’s ready to go full throttle. He has also lived with a woman before. Myself on the other hand, have never lived with a guy and have a few habits/pleasures I need to make sure I am flexible on. For starters, I love my space. I love coming home to a place that is quiet and all mine. If I don’t feel like being bothered than I’m not. But when you’re living with someone that goes out the window.
We discussed how we would allow time for each to have space, but there comes a point when I have to realize my life isn’t about me solely anymore. I am selfish and self-centered mainly because at the end of the day, the only person I’ve had to worry about is me. I have neither kids nor pets, so no other being requires my attention on a constant basis. But at what point will I realize it’s not about me? I guess that time is now. I don’t want to be alone all for sake of maintaining “independence”.
I’m ready to move with him and I love how patient he is with me. That’s the beauty of our age difference (7years); he admitted five years ago it might have been a problem. He’s committed to being in a relationship with me for the rest of our lives. I am committed to walking this journey with him. I am just scared about a few things. But since when have I let fear determine my decisions? Not usually.
We talked about the holiday season. This past Christmas, I went home (L.A.) to be with my family, without a thought of staying in Dallas. I know he spends Christmas with his son and so I didn’t think to invite him. But he was surprised that I didn’t entertain the thought of staying. However, this year I will be staying here and it makes me a little sad. A part of growing up and being in a relationship, is moving on from childhood traditions and creating my own. I am by no means complaining about the relationship “issues” I have. After all, I am very happy and blesses that someone loves me so much. I guess I am just a little anxious about the unknown and the journey ahead.