Sunday, January 13, 2008

Oh Damn...

Sorry for the delay in posts, but damn it I am living my life, which means I’ll always have a story to tell in the near future (LOL).


So where do I start let’s talk about Mr. NY aka “shorty”. This is the strangest “relationship” I’ve had to date, and I use the term relationship loosely. We’re not exclusive or even serious in my book. Although, he’s very ready to take things to the next level. I’m going to take the time now to explain why this shit is a trip.

This is the truth, most of truth and nothing but the truth.

A week ago last Saturday (not yesterday) we’re talking on the hone and had a good conversation until we ended up arguing (or what he likes to call debating) over topics I can’t even recall at this time. But I do know it lasted for an hour. OH WAIT!!! (brain fart) one topic that was touchy was the fact that I date out of my race. Mr. Pro Black thought I was being a disgrace to my ancestors because I like to date the “Masta” as he phrased it. I wont get into defending my view on this topic, but clearly this man is on some other shit. He then goes on to say how black women stand in the way of their own happiness. And how we always dog a good brother and so quick to jump to the white man (N**** please, how many black men mess with white women? Don’t get me started). So needless to say we got off the phone with each other on not the best terms.

Here comes Sunday night (the next evening) we’re talking and we have another “debate”. Before I jog my memory on what it was about. Let me say during these “debates” the topic goes from one thing to another. There’s never one specific thing we stay focused on. Its like one disagreement turns into an entire conversation filled with other debatable topics. Damn I don’t remember what all we argued about (LOL). But it was at this point when I figured obviously we can’t have phone conversations without arguing. So this shit has got to stop. I mean, its way too early in the game for this type of shit.

So I don’t talk to him Monday, Tuesday, and the beginning part of Wednesday. Around 12:00 pm, I get a text from him saying he’s coming to visit me today. Mind you, he lives in L.A. and I live in Dallas. So I’m like what the fuck? I don’t hear from you since Sunday and again we ended our conversation on not the best terms. Are you freaking kidding me? He then asks me what airport am I near? I didn’t answer his question and asked him to call me asap. He calls and I’m like what are you doing? Of course all of my questioning leads into another “debate”.

He felt that I should have been appreciative of his efforts for wanting to come and see me (yes, he was serious). So I recapped for him the chain of events that took place between us the last few days and why I’m not just throwing out the welcome mat just because you’re coming out. After and hour and half of “debate” (yes, I can be retarded too) he ended up coming out for 13 hours. I wanted to get laid so fuck it. And this is where our shit is off the hook. Its like don’t talk to me just fuck me. He didn’t get out here until 11:00pm that night and left 12:00pm Thursday.

After he left, and we agreed to do better with our communications skills I figured I’d try at it one more time. Which leads me to today. I don’t know what the hell I am doing. I’ll just keep it real. I am so indifferent about him, yet I continue to talk to him. Thank God he lives in L.A. (although that clearly means shit). He’s ready to wife me, meaning be my man. I am so not going there for the obvious reasons. But I’ll still engage in phone conversations with him. I know the answer is just leaving him alone. But hey, maybe my life is a little dull and I want the drama. Its weird because it’s not like the arguing feeds my sex drive in some weird twisted way. If anything, it builds up my emotional wall as it pertains to him; in other words it keeps him in this miscellaneous box that doesn’t move me one way or another. Something about his annoying outlook on life entertains me.

Yes, I know I need help…

3 comments:

Liryc said...

First off, I hate it when brothers have the audacity and nerve to tell a sister whom she can and cannot date. This isn't the 1900's it isn't taboo to date outside your race. Tell him to grow the F**K up, and I bet he doesn't say the same thing when he see's black men dating white women. Give me a break with all that crap!! Secondly, I think I know why you want to keep him around, his continous challenge to your views is enticing. I've been there. Something about the fact that he always wants to challenge you makes you want to find out more, its either that or he's working with a MONSTER and you don't want to give it up. Either way I understand completely!

T.C. said...

Ditto Liryc...i get it...my honey is an azz in every sense of the word, but for some reason i love him...smh...

Ms. Confessions said...

Liryc- We most definitely wont go there about the black and white issue. LOL
You may be right about the challenge thing, its weird. Its not like what he says is all that profound. Most of the time he’s talking out of his ass. But I can’t lie the sex is good, but damn it…LOL


t.c.- LOL, girl something has got to give. I want him to just sex me and don’t talk to me. LMAO!!!!

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