Generally speaking it’s now part of the norm to expect and acknowledge that most men will cheat? Regardless if a woman is doing beyond the call of duty to hold her own, a man will always have a desire (maybe genetically) to sample “new” pussy. So in this new and constantly changing day and time do we as women accept that our mates will dip out on occasions no matter how much of a good woman we are? And if this is indeed the case, what’s the best way of maintaining a solid relationship with such behaviors taking place? Is there truly a way of getting around this issue? Or do we continue to keep our heads in the ground, and pretend men will always be faithful? What happens when you find out even your own Prince Charming has dipped out on you?
Perhaps, all of these questions are probe due to the current “relationship” I am in. Mr. Godiva and I are very much still involved with one another. It’s now been 10 months- go freaking figure. He’s very much into me and acknowledges I’ve been one of the best things that’s happened to him in quite some time; however he’s a man. He basically wants my blessings on allowing him to have “variety” every few months. Keeping in mind, that its just sex and no feelings. Oh and he wants me to be around for the event. He doesn't want to "cheat" on me-how sweet. I can hear the “Hell no”. But before I quickly jumped to that answer, we in great detailed discussed the reasoning behind his request.
So if I say, it’s cool. What’s the worst that can happen, if things are done honestly and cautiously? Or again, do I say hell no and walk away. Then find another man and pretend he’ll never have a desire to cheat on me-let alone act on it? It’s not about having self-respect for myself, I have plenty. While evaluating this arrangement, naturally I have to look out for me. It’s more than obvious Mr. Godiva is trying to satisfy his best interest, which is the need for occasional dipping.
I figure as long as every drop of my needs are met, what do I have to loose? I also asked for a significant collateral to reinforce I am indeed the “special” one. Since we’re now making a conscious effort of being in this relationship. Let’s build a foundation. I figure a band (ring) with a modest diamond would put us on the path to recognizing I am in fact “VIP”. This ring will not be worn on my left hand and in no way is considered an engagement ring. But I informed him that for every pussy he feels the need to sample, I get a karat. (I need to look at something shiny and pretty (my ring) while I’m in the room watching him fuck someone else). Naturally, he would prefer I participate, but I’m not interested in being turned out.
What a tangled web we weave. Not sure what to do about this situation. It’s really not that black and white…
6 comments:
wow! now that's an interesting situation to say the least.
*tick, tock as i ponder*
he came to you with his request and intentions as a man and there's respect due for that. it's a personal situation for you both and it's only for you both to decide what'll work out out for you. soliciting "advice" is cool; however, you're the one who's in this and ultimately the ONLY one who has final say.
i think it's extremely mature of you to even entertain his request and even greater that you positioned yourself to get something in return for it. i do have a thought though...how would he feel if you had presented this scenario to him? maybe that's something to consider if you can handle him sexing someone else.
that's my comments from the peanut gallery. whatever the final decision is, be happy and do you.
Love!
Blu- You’re absolutely right about this being my choice. ☺
We did actually discuss me being with another guy. At first he was hesitant (but of course) but he reluctantly said it was okay, naturally he too has to be present. At the end of the day, I wouldn’t be the one to initiate a threesome.
But I figure the right & wrong ways of being in a stable/healthy relationship remains to be seen. Obviously what we’ve been taught isn’t the solution. So I am simply trying to figure out what may work for me and what may not.
its good that the reverse option was discussed, because it's typically the man that always gets to pursue his fantasy or desires. you're fortunate that you've been and are currently with someone who has allowed you to explore some of the very many facets of sex and sexuality.
it's a very complex situation and obviously one that will take some time to fully understand and partake in. i can't say i envy you as i'm a little on the selfish side and want my lover/man all to myself and our sexual pursuits to be for, about, and with each other; however, i am not and will not knock your choice or decision.
with continued discussion and maybe even being in the situation, you'll know what can and will work for you. stable/healthy relationships are relative and subjective, so again, you do you to find what you want.
i'm sure in the end you'll know whatever you decide. i'll give you this; you're doing more than most and that's thinking, talking, and not stifling yourself. i enjoy that about you.
Love!
Good post.
I think women have a need to sample outside too, although its not as intense in women as it is in men.
I think the reason I have never allowed myself to fall in love is because I believe that most will cheat at some point.
I prefer the "don't ask, don't tell" approach. I haven't been in a "committed" relationship in years so I guess this is how most of my recent relationships have been. For instance, if Nick is fucking someone right now, I just don't wanna know.
And I damn sure wouldn't wanna be around to watch.
I think the feeling is mutual.
Whoa. I couldn't do it man.
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