Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Some Things Never Change

This past weekend my good friend was in town for a family reunion. I hooked up with her Saturday night at the hotel her family had their events at. Her other best friend came in town from Houston (a male friend) as well. We all indirectly grew up together. He was her friend from back in the day and we hung out a few times together, but not a lot.

I arrived at the hotel and my friend, her friend, and myself immediately fell into old times and enjoyed our conversations as grown ups. Her male friend in the past few years as done pretty well for himself. He moved to Houston after graduating from Prairie View and began a career in the mortgage industry. He started his own business and moved into a large home in the suburbs off a golf course. So naturally, he’s a catch in our society. You don’t find too many young successful black men.

Anyway, at the event I saw my friend’s mom. I noticed her a few times that night. Also noticed she didn’t initiate any contact with me (which is fine, at the time I thought she was busy mingling). So I went over to her, gave her a hug, and said a line or two and went back over to my friend.


I met my friend in junior high school. I recall her parents were pretty cool for the most part. Her mom was very active in church. I always felt her mom wasn’t so warm and fuzzy with me not like how my parents were to my friend. I was never comfortable coming over their house and making myself at home, let alone going over there when my friend wasn’t home. Her mom had this unjustifiable and unfair impression of me. She thought I was a “bad” influence on her daughter. To this day, I don’t understand how she came to this assumption.

Growing up my parents were pretty lax. I was a little spoiled. However, I was never an unruly child. I didn’t do any activities that were self destructive, and no one else’s parents shared her mother’s opinion. I recall once we graduated from high school. My friend casually mentioned her mother and older sister thought I was going to end up pregnant by the time I was 16. Now what kind of shit is that? Of course they could never be more wrong. I’ve never been pregnant. Ironically, it was her older sister who ended up pregnant out of wedlock.

Back to the story:
On Sunday we went to my friend’s parent’s house for the day. It was during this time I noticed Mommy Dearest had manage to have numerous conversation with the male friend but said pretty much nothing to me. Mind you, I haven’t seen her since my father’s funeral you may want to ask how me and my family are doing (or maybe not). It was also at this point when I began to feel uncomfortable being in the house. I didn’t drive, so leaving wasn’t too easy. Her father was very warm and receptive to, but mom was just distant for whatever reason.

In hindsight, I believe Mommy Dearest is a little salty towards me because I’ve turned out to be the complete opposite of what she assumed I’d be. Now you may assume that most childhood friend’s parents would not only want the best for their kids but their kid’s friends as well (so would I). I am a college graduate, I have a good career in my preferred industry, home owner, constantly pursuing new endeavors to conquer, and living a positive and productive life-child free. Her daughter on the other hand, just graduate grad school at USC and is now trying to find her way in life. I think Mommy Dearest is salty because I had a jump start on life before her daughter. I didn’t know there was a race to success.

To be honest, I can’t even recall a time when her mom has told me congratulations, definitely not recently about anything I’ve accomplished. I know this may seem strange or you may think I’m reading too deep. But what other explanation is there for her behavior. You can’t tell me she was too busy playing hostess. Especially since I was able to compare and contrast in person the interaction between me and mom versus male friend and mom.
I honestly believe Mommy Dearest wants her daughter to end up with the male friend. I refuse to believe she was all up in this man’s face, with no ulterior motives. She hasn’t seen me in about the same time frame as male friend. The only problem is male friend has a live in girlfriend.

I don’t see a point in having this conversation with my friend. How do you mention all of this without her being insulted or taking offense? At any rate, I’ll continue to do me. And I want nothing but the best for my friend. There’s more than enough room at the top.


Anonymous said...

I wouldn't worry about the mom. As long as your friend doesn't view you as her mom, so be it.

Continue to make her feel salty by being successful. LOL

Anonymous said...

Keep shining- you're very cool!

Black Mamba said...

Hmmm...you know, had it been me, I woulda casually asked the friend if I'd done anything wrong to mommy dearest and that I'd noticed she didn't say a whole lot to me. Just to see if friend could clue me in...but really, doesn't matter what mommy dearest thinks. You're a success and you know it, that's all that really matters.

The Re-inventing of C. said...

Hateism is ageless, I see. It never sits well with me when grown women w/grown kids act like teenagers. Don't let her get to you. You handled the situation very well.

Blu Jewel said...

simply keep on being and doing you. you've got a good life and if she's salty about it, that's her problem.

if you and friend are cool, then keep it that way and dont mention her mother because no matter what; it's her mother.

Nic said...

Girlllllll, you’re better then me. I would have had to open my big mouth ASAP. I can’t hold s*** in. You did well though. Sometimes, for whatever reason, mothers mistake their childrens lives for their own. They get too caught up in what they’re doing, and who their doing it with. My mother always acted funny towards my old best friend. I think it was a jealousy thing though. With me always being such a homebody, it was hard for her to get used to the fact that I no longer depended on her for everything. She called that girl (and her family) all types of monkeys……Ohh, it got so ugly. Mom couldn’t stand the fact that she no longer controlled my every waking thought. Sometimes moms just AIN’T RIGHT.

Oh, and I didn’t forget that you tagged me. It’s just hard to find 8 interesting things about myself.

T.C. said...

definitely the ONLY thing that you can do is DO YOU! never stop-just keep keeping on sis...9xs out of 10 you aren't reading to much into it...life is what they gonna be ya know...damn shame a grown woman acting like that, but eh whatcha gon do

Ms. Confessions said...

Southern Gal-No, my friend is cool. I'm not tripping really hard anymore now that a week has almost passed. But I had to let it out, LOL

Anonymous- LOL, you're right!

Black Mamba-It took all of me not to say anything,in all honesty. The phrase pick your battles can't playing in my mind. You're right at the end of the day, it doesn't matter.

C-LMAO- Hateism ( Love that word).

Blu-You're right (as always).

Nic- I had to repeat to myself; not to set trip. Don't sweat the small stuff.

t.c.- expect nothing but Me doing Me, and doing it well...LOL

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