Thursday, June 21, 2007
I Thought It Was A Wrap?
So as some of you may know Mr. Godiva “broke up” with me almost two weeks ago. That was what the audio clip was about.
Anyway, last Thursday was his birthday and since we “broke up” I felt I was only obligated to send an ecard and call it a day. So I sent it early in the morning and continued on with my day. I get a phone call from him around 5:45pm asking if I could meet up with him for drinks/ dinner for his birthday. I had a little hesitation in my voice because didn’t you say you needed some space from me last week? He then goes on to say he wanted to spend his birthday with someone special (meaning me). But again, how special was I last week when you were “breaking up” with me.
I decided to join him for his birthday. After all, I’m sure it took a lot on his part to even call me after what he did. (And, no I wasn’t at all heart broken after this “break up”). So we get to the spot order some drinks and I began to interrogate him about his reasons for wanting to see me. I actually asked the same damn question 5 times in the beginning of this conversation. “Why did you invite me here tonight?” I could tell he was uncomfortable and it actually amused me to see him squirming a little and beat around the bush trying to figure out the answer.
But seriously why would you ask me to spend your birthday with you post “break up”? I keep using quotes around break up because we were never officially a couple. We had the benefits of being one, but never said let’s make this official. I asked him why not spend your day with your boys? Clearly, there’s not another woman. Surely there’s someone else you could be with. And how special was I a week ago when you wanted space?
I truly believe Mr. Godiva got a little caught up in the rapture of Ms. Confessions (LOL). In fact, I know now from the source that it was the fear of his emotions in regards to me that led him to needing some space.
After I returned from Vegas this past Sunday, he called to see if I wanted company. At first, I figured why not. But an hour later I did decline due to the fact that I was tired, and still unclear of his purpose. I did see him the next day, and again I had another talk with him.
At this point, things are different. I don’t trust you enough to let my feelings just flow freely and have u freak out or have another melt down. He kept saying he understood my hurt and pain. But I had to correct him and let him know it isn’t pain nor hurt that I am feeling. It’s more like slightly confused and very apprehensive.
Some may ask why am I even talking to him? Well to be honest this “relationship” has changed captains. I am not saying I am running things or even suggesting I am playing games. But at this point, I am in total control of how I want this situation to be categorized. I’ve been on the side of the fence he’s currently on. Besides, the only person I am looking out for in this situation is myself and I am more than capable of moving on when I see fit. But at the end of the day I don’t need to answer to anyone…