Saturday, April 28, 2007

Mom Meets Mr. Godiva

Last weekend my mother met Mr. Godiva for the first time. My mother expressed interest in meeting him during her trip to Dallas especially since I’ve mentioned him a few times and the drama with my brother’s initial disapproval of our dealings.

I’ll admit I was very nervous about their introductions. Back in March my sister-in-law came to visit and she was the first in my family to meet him. Again I was a little nervous about the meeting. I remember the conversation over dinner when she asked all of the hardball questions that only a loved one would ask. It was an hour of intense and real exchange between my sister-in-law and Mr. Godiva (I was completely silent).

I assumed my mother’s encounter would be another replica of that last experience. Maybe not as intense but I knew she would have plenty of questions to ask. He comes over Friday night after my mother and I went out to dinner. As soon as I heard him knock on my door my heart dropped. I opened the door and gave him an awkward greeting. I am use to open arms and a kiss (but obviously that wasn’t going down in front of moms). So I gave him a half hug and he kissed me on the cheek.

He sat down on the sofa next to my mom and I sat in a chair opposite both of them. He asked a few general questions to break the ice. But I noticed my mother wasn’t talking a lot. She didn’t ask any questions really. I didn’t really know how to take it at the time. There was plenty of small talk and we kind of just watched television. Mr. Godiva then goes on to list a few attributes about me (not sure why). I suppose he was a little nervous because she wasn’t asking any questions. Its funny because later my mom made the comment that she didn’t need him to sell me but rather sell himself.

Over brunch my mother and I talked a little more about Mr. Godiva. She felt he was nice and respectfully; but the age is a bit hard for her to swallow. She felt it was awkward for her and I to be pulling from the same gene pool of men. Meaning he is obviously her peer group and demographic. It wasn’t that she wanted him for herself, but I am sure any mother wouldn't liek the idea of competing for the same men in their age group with younger women. She later disclosed that in her eyes he could never give her a justifiable reason as to why we’re together. And she feels this is nothing more than a phase on my part.

I wont say that I am disappointed by my mother’s decision. I understand she’s my mother and me dating someone who’s 30 years my senior and her age may be a little suspect or even uncomfortable.


Blu Jewel said...

We all want parental approval to some degree, but the bottom line is that you still have to do you. Your happiness and his ability to provide that and some stability is what should be the most important. My stepmom is like 7-8 years my senior and obviously in my peer group and while it does seem odd that i call her "mom", she makes my dad hapy and her treats her well, so it's all good in my book. He on the other hand seems to have an issue if i dated a younger man, but again, that's entitled opinion, but it would never be enough to make me NOT do something that made me happy.

Not sure if that helped, but i hope it did.

A woman on the move said...

Blu- Your words always help!!!

You're right I have to do me, and right now I'm feeling Mr. Godiva.

Mom will get over this just like any thing else I've done in my life..LOL

j.a.c. said...

man... I soo feel you on this one. I'm going through the same situation with my parents. I'm dating a guy who is not of my faith, which is a huge deal in my family. They've met him over the phone and they've even agreed to get to know him, but knowing that I don't have my parents utmost approval bothers me a little. Like blu said, it's ultimately my decision and my happiness, but life would be 10% better if my parents were on the same page as I.

T.C. said...

at this point in our lives we have to do what makes us is totally natural to want our parents approval, and the things that matter most, he is respectful and in general she does like him, is what matters the end if it becomes more and she knows that you are happy she'll be happy!

momma is momma and momma will ALWAYS love you and support you even if she doesn't get it...

A woman on the move said...

J.A.C.- Glad you feel me. Yeah, I know they're job is to look out for us- But can a girl enjoy a cool dude...LOL

T.C.-Yes, the age is really the issue. But your words couldn't be more true.

Momma will always be momma. Could be worst, she could try to steal my guy from me...LOL

The Mistress said...

Honestly, my mother would have the same reaction and she is normally overwhelmingly supportive of my choices.

I think you should give her some time to come to terms with your relationship. There's no guarantee that she'll ever agree with it or accept it but as long as she still loves you and is there for you, that's what counts.

beautyinbaltimore said...

I think your mom only wants the best for you. Personally, I won't date a man more than 15 years(maybe 20) older than me. I prefer that there are a few years between my partner and my father.

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