Personally, I love the person I am today more so than about 10 years ago. Although, if you asked me when I was 17 how I felt about myself; I would say I am the shit! I was so caught up in appearances and being a bitch that I didn’t even realize the only message I was conveying was I am not comfortable in my own skin. I was always a nice person to those I felt were worthy of knowing that side, but I wore a thick skin to protect my image.
My aha moment came when I went off to college in Baton Rouge, LA. In L.A. it’s perfectly natural to only speak to people you know and be an asshole to everyone. However, when I went to Southern the only way I was going to make friends was by opening up and being friendlier. After a while I found myself much happier being genuine to people, learning to think of others before myself, and the importance of letting others recognize my attributes and not tooting my own horn. It was important for me to understand the learning curve never ends and its okay to say I don’t know. I had to learn that real happiness comes from within and I can’t rely on another person to make me happy.
Is it when one finds themselves with no true inner peace or happiness?
Is it that person who masks their insecurities by projecting an image of conceit, arrogance, or belittling others?
Can it be measured by the “actual” benefits you reap in the current lifestyle you’re living?
Is it that nagging sensation or anxiety you feel every Monday morning before you go off to work?
They say the company you keep or surround yourself with is a reflection of you?
So what do the current people I call “friends” say about me? (Ask yourself)
"Me" Time vs. Lonely Time
You often find women (particularly) saying they’re having their “me” time as a reason why they’re not dating. But I began to question these women when 6 to 24 months have rolled by and you haven’t been out on a date. Women who find themselves in this predicament should look within themselves to figure out why they are not dating. What am I doing wrong?
Everyone needs someone of the opposite sex (whatever your preference) to interact with. I usually find women in this situation are the ones with extremely high standards. There’s nothing wrong with setting standards. I’m talking about the woman who wants the following:
Tall, Athlete, Smart, Handsome, Drives a nice car, College Degree, Makes at least 6 figures, Reads in their spare time, Loves Cartoon Network, Doesn’t like sports, Doesn't like anything Mainstream,Likes only Independent movies and music, No kids, Loves to travel, Computer geek, and Great sense of humor.
Now where in the hell would one find this type of man? Not saying he isn’t out there, but you’ve now narrowed down your options to 5 percent of the world population. It’s truly unrealistic and it’s unnecessary. Not to mention what the hell are you bringing to the table while you’re asking for such a man? This may explain why you haven’t dated in over a year.
It's time to change when you are making no progress or moving forward. It's time to change when you are not happy with your life and it’s starting to show. It's time to change when you see the people around you elevated while you still flatline.
I know I’ve been changed.
How about YOU?