Sunday, February 11, 2007

When is it time to CHANGE?

Which image do you project?

They say with age comes wisdom and maturity. But what I’ve found is there are grown ass people that are just as immature and dense as any young person. A key element to growth and maturity is CHANGE. As the years roll by and we get older it’s expected and normal to have a certain level of mental changes. If you haven’t experience this, then perhaps you may want to reevaluate your current state of being and living. One should never let 365 days go by living in the same pattern and producing the same redundant results.

Personally, I love the person I am today more so than about 10 years ago. Although, if you asked me when I was 17 how I felt about myself; I would say I am the shit! I was so caught up in appearances and being a bitch that I didn’t even realize the only message I was conveying was I am not comfortable in my own skin. I was always a nice person to those I felt were worthy of knowing that side, but I wore a thick skin to protect my image.

My aha moment came when I went off to college in Baton Rouge, LA. In L.A. it’s perfectly natural to only speak to people you know and be an asshole to everyone. However, when I went to Southern the only way I was going to make friends was by opening up and being friendlier. After a while I found myself much happier being genuine to people, learning to think of others before myself, and the importance of letting others recognize my attributes and not tooting my own horn. It was important for me to understand the learning curve never ends and its okay to say I don’t know. I had to learn that real happiness comes from within and I can’t rely on another person to make me happy.
Change: to make the form, nature, content, future course, etc., of (something) different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone
What are the true signs to know when you need to make some personal changes in your life?
Is it when one finds themselves with no true inner peace or happiness?
Is it that person who masks their insecurities by projecting an image of conceit, arrogance, or belittling others?
Can it be measured by the “actual” benefits you reap in the current lifestyle you’re living?
Is it that nagging sensation or anxiety you feel every Monday morning before you go off to work?

They say the company you keep or surround yourself with is a reflection of you?
So what do the current people I call “friends” say about me? (Ask yourself)

"Me" Time vs. Lonely Time

You often find women (particularly) saying they’re having their “me” time as a reason why they’re not dating. But I began to question these women when 6 to 24 months have rolled by and you haven’t been out on a date. Women who find themselves in this predicament should look within themselves to figure out why they are not dating. What am I doing wrong?

Everyone needs someone of the opposite sex (whatever your preference) to interact with. I usually find women in this situation are the ones with extremely high standards. There’s nothing wrong with setting standards. I’m talking about the woman who wants the following:

Tall, Athlete, Smart, Handsome, Drives a nice car, College Degree, Makes at least 6 figures, Reads in their spare time, Loves Cartoon Network, Doesn’t like sports, Doesn't like anything Mainstream,Likes only Independent movies and music, No kids, Loves to travel, Computer geek, and Great sense of humor.

Now where in the hell would one find this type of man? Not saying he isn’t out there, but you’ve now narrowed down your options to 5 percent of the world population. It’s truly unrealistic and it’s unnecessary. Not to mention what the hell are you bringing to the table while you’re asking for such a man? This may explain why you haven’t dated in over a year.

It's time to change when you are making no progress or moving forward. It's time to change when you are not happy with your life and it’s starting to show. It's time to change when you see the people around you elevated while you still flatline.

I know I’ve been changed.

How about YOU?


T.C. said...

I totally feel you sista...time to look deep inside, reflect, evolve and move on to bigger and better things!

beautyinbaltimore said...

You made a very good point.

Blu Jewel said...

Your points are well made and we all need to evaluate the truth of our change/s. My current choice to be single is for my personal benefit and respect for myself and as a mother; however, I do get out with my "boys" and chill and accept dates as they fit into my schedule.

Life is to be lived to it's fullest and letting go of the old in favor of the new only works if you're committed to yourself and your personal progress. I've seen too many women settling in the name of "change".

j.a.c. said...

I particularly like this post. The last 3 years of my life have been full of evolution and development so I appreciate these words. It would be a tragedy if we all remained the same from year to year. We MUST improve.

Southern_Lady said...

I really like this post. I'd been thinking about this for some time now. Honestly, there's no way you're going to find a man who has EVERY quality you want. When me time becomes a way of life, you have to know you need a change.

What I Have To Say