Not sure what made me think of this old friend of mine. I met her in elementary and we became reunited when she went to my high school in the 10th grade. I don’t recall having a hell of a lot in common with her, yet we hung out quite a bit. She also lived in the neighborhood I grew up in.
“Renee” seemed to have it all as far as I was concern (mainly physical appearance). She’s mixed with white and black. She was tall like me and a very pretty girl. She was sweet for the most part (you definitely didn’t want to get on her bad side; she will kick your ass). I remember how all of the guys use to love “Renee”. She could throw on a potato sack and still attract the finest guy in the room. I recall every time I would hang out with her (particularly going out) I had to put extra effort in making sure my A game was on point (an obvious reflection of my own insecurities). I would find myself liking her as my friend, yet envious of her beauty and effortless attempts to get guys to notice her.
“Renee” could get any guy from college star athletes, professional athletes, musicians, to the garbage man. One day I remember she was at my house and we for some reason had a very candid conversation with one another (I believe she was having some drama w/ a guy she was seeing at the time). She began to reveal to me how she would sometimes feel jealous and envious of me. I looked shocked and puzzled for a minute. Don’t get me wrong I know I wasn’t an ugly ducking but, here I thought she had it all. She first starts out by telling me about all of her fucked up relationships with men. She once had guys who use to beat the shit out of her and verbally abuse her. The current guy she was seeing was a popular professional athlete. Here I thought it was the best thing in the world. She began to tell me about how he too disrespected her and belittled her in front of his friends. She admitted how she felt like his toy and doesn’t want to continue seeing him.
She also told me she admired my family. She envied the love and support my parents showed me. She felt I was lucky to have both parents in the house. She wished her home was a stable environment. I recall a look of shock and awe. I then began to tell her about how I thought her life was so “perfect”. Here I wanted to walk in my friend’s shoes, and she actually wanted to be in mine. I wanted a lot of her guys that ended up being the many demons of her past. Its’ truly amazing how God can teach you a lesson without necessarily putting you through the storm to get the point.
It was at that point that I tried to never envy another person’s life again. Everyone has a struggle and a vice. All that glitters is never truly gold. Some of us may shine a little more than others but no one is perfect.