In relationships, the overall idea is a union of two people working together as one. But when it comes to the monetary aspects of a union are you giving up or sacrificing a certain level your independence? In society, it is normal for the man to be the bread winner/head of the house hold and the woman to be more of the support. However, today you have more women earning the dough and baking the bread. As I look at a few of my friends’ relationships particularly those in a situation where the man provides the most monetary contributions; I noticed the females started to develop a little bit of resentment.
Does the person who’s carries the weight of the house hold (paying the expenses) have the right to feel dominate? Or further more gives one the right to hang that “power” over their mates head? Should we enter a relationship with a 50/50 mentality so both parties feel equal? Of course no two situations are ever the exact same. But I pose these questions to the ones who initially didn’t mind letting the other person take on all of the responsibilities…
5 comments:
I'm not at all comfortable with the notion of a man supporting me financially. I'll admit, that's an issue with me. I have no desire to feel more like a dependent rather than an equal in a relationship. I see that as giving up my own personal power and I refuse to do that.
I wholeheartedly agree with Mistress on this one. We are partners/equals. I am not his child and should not feel as though I am by being dependent. We both need to be able to take care of ourselves as well as each other. That's 50/50 to me.
i'm definitely not comfortable with a man supporting me completely financially.
however, i have seen folk who feel like they should be the one running things cuz they contribute the most money to the household. i don't think that's fair, cuz everybody brings something valuable to the relationship (most of the time anyway).
When I get married, I'm looking forward to throwing both of our incomes into one general pot to be used for all household expenses. No matter who has the larger income, all contributions will go towards the greater good. Who will ultimately sit down and pay the bills with that money will be determined by our personalities and propensities. I have no problem with a man being the major breadwinner, however, I will ALWAYS make sure that I can take care of myself financially without him.
As far as power and domination is concerned... The amount of money that one has gives a person no right to hang power over their mates head. Money can disappear in a day, so it's important not to use it to uplift yourself over another.
I don't believe in 50/50. In my opinion in order for a relationship to be successful, you need 100/100. Basically you've gotta know that no matter what occurs, the other person has your back and will do whats best in any given situation. Things happen all the time that turn the financial tide in relationships. People get sick, into accidents, lose jobs, etc. The one making the bread today, could be the one scraping for crumbs tomorrow. You've got to prepare for any and all scenarios and throw egos out the window to make it all work in a positive way.
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