Monday, August 14, 2006


Definition: Something taken for granted or accepted as true without proof; a supposition.

After posting the last blog topic about the Flavor of Love (White Frail Girl vs. Angry Black Woman) incident. It made me think about my initial reaction to the clip we all saw on television. That entire fight was edited to make it appear as if the black woman was just acting her typical self and picked on the poor defenseless white girl. I keep referring to the other female as white girl because that is in fact what she called herself.I'll admit I was guilty of assuming it was the black woman's fault, due to the way they presented the situation to the viewers. Which shows how even television is the major factor in perpetuating the stereo types about African Americans. Nothing really new to us.

I thought about my brief few years living in the “real world” and some of the encounters/assumptions I have come across particularly since moving to Dallas, Teaxs. For starters I guess my parent’s were using their heads when they named me. On paper you would never know what race I am and especially if you’re talking to me over the phone. It never fails when I walk into an interview the white interviewers always have this look like “Oh”.

Since working out here I have always be the only “one”, so it’s up to me to represent an entire race based off my behavior. People have been surprised at: how well groomed/dressed I am, how articulate, the fact that I had a normal upbringing/childhood, I am highly educated, I know and was raised with having high quality material items, and I wasn’t raised in the hood or ghetto (No, I personally don’t know any gang members).

I could go on and on with the ASSumptions I have become victim to. But my question is:

What assumptions/stereo types have you had to face while co-mingling in the “real world”?


Anonymous said...

As a black male, where do the stereo types end?

I am automatically assumed to be a thugg who’s up to no good when I’m rocking my timbs and jeans. But the cold part is an hour earlier when I leaving my corporate job in my suit I can buy a Starbucks Latte with NO problems.

Regardless if I’m in my suit or in my jeans I’ll get pulled over just the same. I drive a nice car, so obviously I must have stolen it. I say fuck the police, they’re just mad because I make more money than they do legitimately.

Yeah it’s real fucked up being black in America but even more so if you’re a black man.

DivineLavender said...

I grew up in the midwest in a state and most people fall out when I tell them the state. Most reactions are like "There are black people there?"
This comes from mostly urban black folk. (Okay, did we all miss the Black History lesson about the Great Migration?)

Then, I get from the Lesbian and Gay community that since I am bisexual that I am stingy or confused. (No, I am attracted to men AND women...I am clear) When I share that with a man I am dating...He is automatically on the "hook me up!" tip. (AND NO! I am not your neighborhood Coochie Club-Connection)


A woman on the move said...

@anonymous- I won’t even pretend I know what it's like to be a black male. You are simply judge for being.

Regardless of how others treat you, know that this woman respects you simply because you’re my brother. Keep your head up!! And keep killing them in your suits; I know you’re looking good…

@Divine- LOL about the Great Migration!!! I can believe you about the bisexual thing. I too looked at that as being greedy or confused. That was ME ASSuming! But I learned a few years ago. To each, it’s own. That’s what makes this world so great; it’s full of all types of people.

We say this, but do we really mean?

nikki said...

folk assume because i wear locs that i'm rastafari or a weed head. many white folk also like to assume i'm that 'rare' type negro, the kind who 'is so well-spoken and intelligent' as though they're complimenting me instead of dissing my entire race.

Single Ma said...

People assume since I'm a single mom that I must be on welfare, have 2-3 kids by 2-3 diff men, have a low paying job and no college degree. I get the look of sympathy. I don't even justify their ASSumptions with my real stats. I prefer the shock factor when they find out on their own.

Black Girl Interrupted said...

Man, where do I begin? I have come across many of the same presumptions you have. People seem surprised that I wear nice clothes, have certain mannerisms, or that I do certain things or have certain interests, like its unusual for a black woman to be classy and cultured. I am like many other black women in the "ghetto" who loves literature, art, and travel. I'm not necessarily a product of my environment. I'm a product of my upbringing. One main thing people assume about me is that since I live in South LA, I must be ghetto and unwordly. I get this from black and white people. I always get, "you don't seem like you live in the hood" just because I'm well- spoken and educated. I don't feel like I'm the exception to the rule, because there are many educated and intelligent black women who live where I live. Like you, I kill them every time with my "Becky voice" on the phone. I find it amusing when people who I have talked to on the phone see me for the first time; they tend to do a double take. Hell one time I even confused my own Mama when she called me @ work, she was like, "Damn child, you sounded like a white girl!"

beautyinbaltimore said...

That allthough I am not married, I have children and a babby daddy.

A woman on the move said...

@Nikki- I would guess you would get it from both sides (black & white). Blacks assume you’re NEO-soul afro-centric woman. And white people I am sure are often confused by your appearance. They tend to be so one track minded.

@Single Ma- I do the same, I’ll let you think what you want. And then I quickly flip the script and leave them speechless.

@Black Girl-That’s what I am talking about! It’s definitely true people assume you’re a product of you’re environment. Just because I may be from hood, doesn’t mean I don't want more out of life. And what the hell is talking like a white girl? I don’t mean the constant “Oh my God” phrases. I usually get this just because I speak proper English.

JoJo D. said...

I feel you on the ASSumptions. Most people think that because I am a single mother of a special needs child, I am poor and dependent on welfare.


But stereotypes, like ignorance, will always be around. That's a shame, too.

Brianna said...

people always assume i am halle berry's little sister

A woman on the move said...

@ JOJO- Sad, but I know it's true.

@Brianna- Okay Little Halle..LOL

Tired of being broke said...

People give me this shocked look when I say I have no kids as yet. They assume since I live in my neighborhood I have a bunch of kids.

My resident's family show up and are surprised am the one doing all their finances.

Views of Diversified Mind said...

AMEN sister!!! And I am treated the same exact way... "Oh"(when walking in the door for an interview, meeting, appointment, etc. But hey....if they don't chose to speak with me, do business with me, speak with me; it's THEIR loss...I repeat...THEIR...NOT mine.

preach on!

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