Sunday, April 09, 2006

The Little Engine That Couldn't...

I met this guy at a popular nightclub in Dallas. I was actually there that night to meet up with the owner who leases office space in the building I help manage. The owner invited me out to see the club and when I arrived he introduce me to the little engine and had him show me around. I followed him around and listened to him give me the sales pitch on the club and once we finished he offered to buy my friend and I some drinks. At this point we sat and started the initially getting to know you conversation. We ended up talking and dancing the entire night, and the drinks kept coming.

His stats are as followed 28 years old, works for a fortune 500 company in the financing department, in the process of a divorce (I'll get to this in a minute), a daughter, lives in the suburbs of Dallas, attractive, and a good sense of style (clothes). So that night I met him, after several drinks he tells me about the separation he was going through. At first I didn't really care (I figured we wouldn't go past the night). We ended up exchanging numbers and spoke to him the next morning.

On our first date he explained to me the "divorce" situation. He told me on a scale of 1 to 5 in completion he was at a 4. Looking back I should have stopped talking to him after that date. But I was bored and I enjoyed his company. We actually looked good together in public (how funny). People would think we were this crazy in love couple. Well most of our dates consisted of dining out, clubs, and the crib. When we did go out he paid for everything no matter who was with us (my friends or his friends) he was the big spender. In hind sight, I believe he spent a lot of money to overcompensate for his shortcomings (which I will get to).

The first time we became intimate I was totally shocked. Everything was so good on the outer packaging. But the man wasn't working with anything. I thought maybe it was just nervous jitters on his part. But we tried again another day and it was the same results. I'll admit and say it was my fault for not informing him about his performance. But how do you tell someone they are wack in bed without hurting their feelings?

I even tried to switch our relationship back to the platonic phase. When we were out in clubs he could move on the dance floor so well, bumping and grinding on me to the beat of the music and talked a good game in my ear, but was so lame in the bed.

Later on down the road I found out that he wasn't in the process of getting a divorce. He wasn't even separated from his wife, they still lived together. Do I feel played? No, deep down I knew there was more than he tried to sell me. But I figured why not at least pay like you weigh. He bullshited me, I bullshited back. What I don't understand, is how was he explaining all the days and nights he spent with me?

I now ask every man I meet if he is married, who he lives with, how you file on your income taxes (as far as single). See men tend to have a bad habit of withholding valuable information. Sometimes we women make the bad choices of only hearing/comprehending what we want to believe. Once he told me he was going through a divorce I should have said call me when everything is final. But I have no regrets, only experiences and lessons learned.

I strongly suggest Mr. Casanova keep his loving and money at home with his family. Needless to say that chapter is well over and closed. ..

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