Saturday, December 08, 2007

So What's Up With That???

I find my recent dating trend quite interesting. It’s as if I have no control over what man “is meant to be” in my life. For the past few months several guys have entered into my life, yet I am still no closer to being in a heart-felt relationship. Whether I want one or not is really irrelevant. But what I find most interesting about the whole idea is the fact that there were a few guys that I thought would accompany me on this road to “coupleville”. However, circumstances or the “Gods’ showed me differently.

For whatever reason these men ended up not being any more than a few dates, conversations, and entertainment. But if I am in control, how can this be the case? Its not like I’m subconsciously attracted to the bad boy type or prone to being in dysfunctional relationships. Lately, it just seems like my dating changer doesn’t seem to play anyone in heavy rotation. Things become hot and heavy, but then like the change of the seasons things begin and end. This dating mishap isn’t as easy as simply saying oh well maybe you outgrew one another or maybe there wasn’t any long-lasting interest.

It’s like one day I meet a great guy and the next moment I find myself deleting someone’s email address and cell phone number out of my memory. Despite this, there are three guys still lingering in the picture. The only problem is I don’t see myself with these guys as I did the others. What’s that about? They are great guys (the few remaining) but it’s not that total package I’m looking for. In my world there’s no such thing as settling, I need that can’t eat, can’t sleep, and “IT” factor. Or better yet, that feeling of dictating or even knowing where our journey will go.

Maybe it’s my subconscious arrogance that’s getting in my own way? One thing I do know is I can’t cash a check that isn’t signed (LOL).

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