Confessions of an Everyday Woman

Seasons Greetings...

noreply@blogger.com (Ms. Confessions) — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 17:59:00 +0000

This morning I am sitting here at my mother’s desk in her office, I am home for Christmas and too excited. I got into town yesterday afternoon and its feels good to be home for the holidays. It’s been a while since I’ve updated my blog. I’ll first recap Thanksgiving. My Guy & I went to my brother’s house in Arizona for turkey day. This has been a tradition for my dad’s side of the family for the past five years. I thought it would be a great opportunity for my family to meet the man in my life.

As the days were getting closer, I was a little nervous mainly because of my older brother and uncle. But the visit was very pleasant. We arrived on Thanksgiving morning and the day couldn’t have been more perfect. My Guy fit right in with the family. We ate well, watched football, played games, laughed, and had an overall great time. To our surprise, my brother invited My Guy to play golf with him on Friday. For one, I didn’t know my brother played (lol). But it was an excellent opportunity for them to bond and get to know each other.

It was during this trip when I decided I didn’t want to run off and elope w/ My Guy, but I now want a nice size wedding celebrating our love. We are going to now get married in Las Vegas. It’s the perfect location for my family (located mainly on the west coast) and his family in Texas. It’s been my family tradition to hang out in Vegas for vacations growing up. Seeing My Guy get along so well with my family inspired me to want to include as many people as possible on that big day.

Back to my Christmas trip home… I am so excited to here, yet it’s also bittersweet. It may be a while before I am in California for Christmas. Part of being in an evolving relationship is the joys of blending and creating new family holiday traditions. We’re moving in together next year so we may even host Christmas at our house (who knows). I love coming home for the holidays (hell, that’s all I’ve done) and now I’ll have to begin my own celebrations. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining. I must say Santa (God) has been very good to me this year. I look very much forward to a successful, loving, and prosperous new year. I wish that for everyone….

My Baby's Day...

noreply@blogger.com (Ms. Confessions) — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 21:20:00 +0000

I decided to take the day off; I didn’t want to step into the real world from such a wonderful weekend. This past weekend was My Guy’s birthday. The actual day was Sunday (11/15), I didn’t have too much planned for the weekend since he has his son, but I did plan something special for Sunday. I have a friend who works at a nice restaurant here in Dallas called The Capital Grille and asked her to hook us up with the royal treatment.

During that day he had no clue what was in store for him. He played golf during the day while I planned for our evening. Dinner was set for 6:00pm, I drove and while in my car I made him put on blindfolds. As we pulled up to the restaurant I had the valet leave him in the car while I quietly had his birthday cake put away. I took a sneak peeked at our table which was beautiful. She has a big balloon, confetti, candles, and a six-pack of his favorite beer chilled in an ice bucket. I went back to my car to retrieve my guest of honor (still blindfolded) and walked him to our table.

As we stood in front our table I removed the blindfolds and he was pleasantly surprise to see our friend (who also served us) and the wonderful birthday display. I am still stuffed from all of the food we ate. Dinner was fabulous we dinned on a six-course meal and plenty of drinks flowing throughout the night. Even though the restaurant was somewhat crowded, it felt like only the two of us were there. He loved his surprise and the other gifts I gave him that day, but what I think we both enjoyed was experiencing another memory together.

So as a result of having a great weekend with my love, I opted out on returning so fast to the corp. bullshit waiting…

Hump Day...

noreply@blogger.com (Ms. Confessions) — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 04:09:00 +0000

Happy to be home after a long workday, it wasn’t too bad today and I even got the pleasure of seeing one of my bad managers get checked by our department head. I guess rather than let the two get the best of me, I am trying to figure out how to control my attitude and just remain cool. I just don’t understand how people can be so unhappy and insecure that they have to attempt to bring others down to their hell. I can tell their so much lacking in their lives outside of the office, that the only way they feel in power is when dealing with me. But unfortunately this girl has been and will be going places these two can only dream of experiencing.

I am currently reading a book “ 17 Principle to Success” by Napoleon Hill. It’s been my balance the past few days. I’ve got to remember to work on me and not worry about these two fools.

Day 1...

noreply@blogger.com (Ms. Confessions) — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 01:46:00 +0000

So today I started my new “eating plan”. I am seeing my family for Thanksgiving and I want to tighten up a little bit these days. Truth is told I’ve been reviewing some recent photos of myself and I can see the weight gain. On a daily basis I guess in my head I’ve become accustomed to what I see and even though some clothes are more fit than others, I kept eating however I felt. Well today, is all about change.

I am a foodie and I love to eat. But I have to remember I am not 15 years old and the body isn’t agreeing with my eating habits. My Guy is unbelievably supportive of me and never makes me feel undesirable. However, I know what I look like at my best and I need to find that woman ASAP. But it’s hard to go healthy. Not only is it freaking expensive but in some cases time consuming. For instance, I am trying out an eggplant recipe and it’s taking me like 2 hours to freaking eat. I am so starving, the food is now cooling off but damn it I could have had a quick and easier meal an hour and a half ago.

Here’s to day a successful day one and a healthier 13 more days ☺

Things on My Mind...

noreply@blogger.com (Ms. Confessions) — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 20:20:00 +0000

Today I wanted to enjoy a day of doing nothing and as I sit around doing nothing, my mind is consumed with many thoughts. I am happy it’s the weekend and I get 48 hours to myself, only to start it all over again on Monday morning. When did life become all about dreading a Monday and looking forward to a Friday? Work is going pretty good overall but it’s a constant battle of maintaining my sanity and not letting others bother me. I am currently in search of a local female mentor and preferably one who is African American and works in my industry. The quest is appearing harder than I thought, but really to no surprise.

I work in commercial real estate and I have always been the “one”. But I am determined to find a woman in Dallas who is dynamic in this game. I am particularly interested because at this point I feel I need some advice/encouragement from someone who is directly playing the same game. I am having a hard time conforming to some of the ways of Corporate America, not to mention the subtle hints of racism I am often encountering. More importantly, I just need to be around women who enjoy what we do as well as who are great at their jobs.

My Guy and I are doing well but there are times when I question, “If I am truly ready?”. I love him with all of my heart and he makes me completely happy. However, I wonder if minor things will eventually become turn offs to me. The main issue is his dog. I am not a dog person and I have been somewhat forced to love his dog. I enjoy Peanut; he’s a sweet dog (a datsun). But I don’t want to live with a dog. He promised his niece that he would not get rid of the dog and he’s not feeling my idea of returning him to his niece. Is a dog a deal breaker for me?

A part of me wonders am I being selfish or should I stand my ground. We’re not moving in together any time soon, but it is the next step in our relationship. Besides the dog we are also going back and forth on where to live still. I don’t want to live in the suburbs because of the longer commute to work. I don’t want to live with a dog. So what is a girl to do? I understand relationships are about compromise, but what are my limits??

Another Day for a Freaking $1.00

noreply@blogger.com (Ms. Confessions) — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 00:45:00 +0000

Thank God it’s almost Friday! This week has kicked my ass in a major way. This post is about my frustrations at work as I anxiously wait to attend another weekly property management meeting. Don’t get me wrong; I love my job, the people I work with, and the future opportunities. But I DISLIKE two of my four managers. The fact that I assist four people is a subject for another day but the fact that two of them get on my fucking nerve is making me my own worst enemy.

Let’s quickly describe these two characters whom I will refer to in future posts (yes, there will be more) by nicknames. Ms. Black, who isn’t an African American woman but she wears the color black EVERYDAY. She’s arrogant and even condescending. I find it ironic that she tries to appear uppity yet she’s quite simple and country (in hickish way). She only talks to me when she needs something, and this is usually via email. She doesn’t give me any tasks that require more than one brain cell. She’s also the world’s definition of micromanager. It’s to the point where I don’t want to do shit for her. She talks to me (via email) like I am a freaking retard or GED recipient, yet she has little to no higher educational background. As her assistant property manager I know NOTHING about her properties. She keeps all of this information stored in her little black box. However, an unexpected turn of events happened last Friday, which required her to be out the entire week (this week). So guess who has to run the show in her absence? ME, well perhaps if Ms. Black/Insecure would keep me informed on a daily basis; I wouldn’t have gotten 50 emails from her this past Sunday to get me up to speed.

So all week, I’ve been busting my ass doing all of these random ass bullshit assignments while she’s away. The good thing is I handle the job and took care of business. I am sure come next week, I’ll be back to making her file labels, which I did incorrectly (another story). Im sorry my MBA program didn’t teach nor quiz me on how to create file labels. However, I can analyze the hell out of any company’s financial statements, lol.

Manager number 2: Ms. Retard. This one is a piece of work. This is the laziest woman I’ve ever worked under. This whoreface gives me EVERYTHING. I am quite sure she looks through her “things to do” list just to see what she can pawn off to me. But I thank Ms. Retard for teaching me how to do your job. She’s been with our company a little over a year and how she keeps her job, who the hell knows? So she doesn’t have an office (no room) so she sits in the cubes with us (other assistants). Ms. Retard holds private and personal conversations everyday and all day. I know more about this retard than I ever want to know. She talks about everything from her dysfunctional relationship, her financial troubles, badass kids, and bailing family members out of jail. What puzzles me is why would you let sensitive info about you be overheard in our office? Dumb whore! The other day she really pissed me off, she kept talking about how “she has nothing to do, I’m bored”, yet sending me emails of bullshit things to do. It’s a serious question of: is she really this fucking dumb or does she truly not give a damn?

Either way, these two pieces of trash are making me crazy. I swear it’s so hard to not let them get to me. I won’t say they know fully how much they get under my skin. But I am defiantly not friendly with them as I am with everyone else. I have never been one to fake the funk. I am cordial and professional, but I will never shoot the shit with either one of these two. Everyday I have remind myself to stay focus and not let these devils attempt to block my blessings. But damn where do they find these people? Even worst, how they hell did they get a little bit of authority??

A Very Happy Birthday to Me :)

noreply@blogger.com (Ms. Confessions) — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 16:21:00 +0000

My how the month of September flew by. It’s been a week and a day exactly since my birthday and Mexico trip. There aren’t even words to describe how great turning 30 is. I am still in shock that I am 30 years old (lol), but it’s a great feeling. I feel like a woman now. I feel a new level of wisdom and sophistication, yet there’s so much more to learn and experience. This was indeed the best birthday to date. Playa del Carmen was beautiful and I felt like I was on my honeymoon. My Guy did a great job of showing me how loved I am. This was our first “real” trip together and I can honestly say I could do this with him forever.

I don’t want to give every detail but I will share some highlights. The day of my birthday we had breakfast out by the beach and hung out in the pool. We returned to our room and there was our bed covered with rose peddles. The roses were arranged in the shape of a heart with two swans kissing. In between those two swans was a cute little blue box from Tiffany’s. No, it wasn’t an engagement ring, lol. It was the key to his heart, a part of the Tiffany’s key collection. On the night before (Friday) we had a 3-hour romantic massage for two in our room.

I guess my new womanly feeling is a sense of being in real love. I enjoy living our love story. Even with the few bad things that happen in our lives, together we conquer all.

September

noreply@blogger.com (Ms. Confessions) — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 01:41:00 +0000

Today is the first day of September, many may say big deal, but this is my birthday month and I am freaking turning 30. A few months ago, I was a little uneasy about turning 30. But I am digging the new decade upon me. My birthday is September 19th and I will be spending this significant birthday with my significant other. We’re going to Mexico. At first, I was a little apprehensive about going south of the border due to media propaganda. However, after hearing from a few people who have recently went out there, the trip was set.

We’re staying at an all-inclusive resort in Playa Del Carmen, and I am too excited. I am not excited about just the trip, but I am turning 30. I feel like I am finally starting to get “it”. I suddenly feel like I am beginning to live the life I am meant to have. My 20’s were all about trial and many errors. I won’t pretend I have the answers now (not at all). But I love the confidence and sense of balance I have now. On the vain side, I love that I don’t look 30 (the amazement when I say how old I am).

Things Are Moving...

noreply@blogger.com (Ms. Confessions) — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 22:39:00 +0000

I’ve got to get back into the habit of updating my blog more often. You get so caught up in just “living” I forget to record what’s going on in my life. I’m in the process of moving. Yet I haven’t packed a thing (I bought boxes, lol). I am set to move out next weekend, I am so excited. My current neighborhood is changing (and not for the better) so its time to move on. Not to mention my neighbors above me (older couple) have the world’s heaviest feet. I swear they kill me with their freaking footsteps. So even more reason to get the hell out. Plus my new place is pretty bad ass.

Things w/ My Guy and I are great. I am truly blessed to have such an awesome man in my life. There have been a few challenges recently I’ve had to endure and he’s been right there by my side. Perhaps when the wound has healed I’ll share what happened. But for now, I am grateful for the support system I have. We’re talking about moving in together some time next year. The only dilemma we have is the area we would live in. He doesn’t want to live in Dallas at all, where I don’t want to live in Frisco (suburb outside of Dallas). I personally live in the city because when you start venturing out you realize you’re in Texas, lol. Also the suburbs are so family-oriented, and nothing’s wrong with that. I just don’t currently live that lifestyle. It’s your typical cookie cutter homes, SUVs, kids, dog, and shopping centers. So needless to say we’re still working on our compromise, lol.

Work is good other than my two managers who continue to challenge my strength. I will say this past workweek ended on a very high note. On Friday, I had a meeting with our company’s COO. Let me back up and explain how this happened. A few weeks ago, we got a mass email about our scheduled conference call discussing our quarterly performance. We found out a few weeks prior we wouldn’t get bonuses this year the second time in a row. I wasn’t upset since I am new to the job and this was already a salary increase for me. So in the memo enclosed in the email Mr. COO welcomed questions, comment, or concerns during the call. But of course no one is going to say anything. So the call was set for a Tuesday at 9:00am, and that morning while showering I decided I would email him a question. I sent my question at 8:30am, lol.

After the executives said their piece, it was then time for questions. He read my question anonymously which was “What nonmonetary alternatives were upper management considering to boast and maintain morale within our organization?” He gave some typical bs answer (I don’t remember, lol). But he did end his response opening the floor for suggestions from anyone. Of course, that was my opportunity to put a face with the email and meet the big guy. So I emailed him back and scheduled a time to meet and discuss my suggestions. Well the meeting was brief but it was very good. Before I asked to meet him, I did some research on his personality and leadership style. Since he’s known as being an overall great guy, I felt comfortable making the bold move.

I did casually mention my meeting with my direct report. You have to cross your Ts and dot your Is. Besides, I don’t need people feeling threaten or like I am trying to do something underhanded. I just simply took advantage of an opportunity. Mr. COO asked where did I see myself going professionally “what’s big picture?” I told him my exact intents. I want to move into Asset Management and I am also open to being a Broker. His eyes lit up and I knew I made an impression. But I already did that before I walked in, just because I took the initiative to speak up when asked. I also created a bio to give to him since he doesn’t really know my background. I didn’t want to give him a resume, so I made an impressive one-page bio with my cute picture, lol. So as long as I don’t let my two insignificant managers side track me, things may turn out as planned.

I need to get ready now for date night. I am actually going with My Guy to his son’s mother’s birthday party. Isn’t that too cool? I love how we all get along, there’s no drama between her and I. I actually like her a lot, and she’s even a friend on my facebook profile. She and I use to hang out while we watched their son play flag football, too cool for words.

Anyway, I promise to post more often…

One Day...

noreply@blogger.com (Ms. Confessions) — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 03:17:00 +0000

Lately there have been so many emotions regarding my job. I’ll first start this post off by acknowledging I am very grateful for not only being employed but also working in my preferred field. However, I can’t help but feel like my head is constantly being banged against the imaginary glass ceiling. I definitely make no excuses when it comes to overcoming hurdles/ minor set backs, but its frustrating to know some just have it easier simply for being and no other reason. People wonder if racism is still an issue. How could it be after all we have a black president? I say, we still have a long way to go and you see that in the news everyday. Hell, I live my life everyday and see things on a regular basis.

I guess being an intelligent, ambitious, beautiful, and outgoing black woman will indirectly build character. God knows I find myself having to tone down certain aspects of me, so other women won’t feel threatened. This isn’t an angry post, its more frustration and an opportunity to vent. So what are my issues?? I hate the fact that I (as a black woman) will always have to be above average just to be giving a fair chance (i.e. job interviews). I feel I need a Masters just to be considered for an entry to mid level position. I hate the fact that people assume because I am black; I must have grown up in south Dallas (a ‘black” neighborhood, we won’t even begin with the fact that I am not from Texas). It’s interesting how people’s eyes widen when they hear I am graduate student at a certain local prestigious university (I guess I should only have a GED?).

I only seem to make matters worst because I have a warm and outgoing personality (God forbid, I am a happy person). The fact that I out dress just about every woman in my department doesn’t help matters either (its really effortless on my part). Yes, I am very confident and sure of myself. But I am also a dedicated team player and I love what I do. It annoys the hell out of me when others want to attempt to steal my joy or hate on me, just because they’re unsure. After evaluating all of my past experiences in this industry (almost 5 years in commercial real estate) I’ve realized that I have never had a manager who was on top of their game. I mean loved what they do, while kicking ass as they do it. I almost want the “Devil Wears Prada” chick; at least she was great at what she did (to a degree,lol).

I am trying to remind myself daily that its not the problem/issue itself, but more about my attitude towards the situation…

Happy Birthday

noreply@blogger.com (Ms. Confessions) — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 12:06:00 +0000

I want to say Happy Birthday to My Daddy! May his beautiful and loving soul rest in peace. I know you're welcoming MJ into your arms and probably gloating about your Lakers. I miss you so much, and I am very grateful to have such a loving father. Like so many lately, you are gone too soon.

I Love You, I Miss You!!
Daddy's Girl

Not Trying to Brag...

noreply@blogger.com (Ms. Confessions) — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 03:13:00 +0000

So today while at work I was checking my school email account and noticed an email congratulating me for being a member of the Dean’s Circle at my graduate school. The email also attached a PDF copy of the school magazine I am featured in along with a few other students. I was proud of myself and chose to forward the email to My Guy, mom, and two coworkers I am cool with.

Well about 15 minutes later a mass email when out to my department ccing the CEO of the company sent from our department head with a congratulatory message. I began to cringe when I read it. I asked my co worker why did she send it and she thought our main boss should know the talent he has and to also give a few managers something concrete to hate on. While I am very proud about my accomplishments and where I am going, I am very low profile when it comes to my resume and workplace. I already have to deal with these women insecurities; I don’t feel a need to remind them why they should hate on me.

Its funny I was a little embarrassed by the email and only a few people sent me praises, but at the end of the day I ask why should I be ashamed?

Weekend Loving...

noreply@blogger.com (Ms. Confessions) — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 22:11:00 +0000

Just ending another great weekend. My Guy and I got a hotel room for the weekend (just downtown Dallas). It’s funny I’ve lived here for almost five years and there’s so much to Dallas I still don’t know, including downtown. We checked in on Friday evening and stayed until Sunday. The overall point was to not only get away while being in town, but to also get to know each other. It may sound strange since its been almost a year since we’ve started dating, but there’s still so much we’ve got to learn about one another. In fact, it will take a lifetime for us to complete that mission and its something we’re committed to accomplishing together.

It’s been a year (wow what a year). During this trip I learned that I love this man more than I could imagine loving someone and I am amazed at the level of love I feel from him. It’s as if things between us are too perfect. There’s no drama (we’ve hit a few speed bumps but nothing serious) and you wonder is love suppose to be this simple? It’s easy to love him. It hurts when I’m away. Even while typing this post, I am a little sad. I hate saying good-bye to him. We talked about moving in together, but it won’t be until next year. It’s strange I have conflicting thoughts about us shacking up. One part of me wants to live together to minimize the surprises. The other part of me wants to do thing “right” and wait until we’re married. Yet the ironic part is we’re guilty of fornication.

At any rate there’s no rush on either of our parts. We’re just expressing our plans for one another. Again, I feel so grateful to have this guy in my life. There are a few things in my life I could do without, but he makes life so much better and I’ve never known a love like this…

A Month And Four Days After I am Hired...

noreply@blogger.com (Ms. Confessions) — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 00:42:00 +0000

So day three of this week nothing major happened, as far no offensive comments or emails. In fact, I would rather forget the past two days. I guess I should back up and tell you what happened the next day (Tuesday) post the “email”. One other manager (not one of mine) had a male visitor drop by her office and he had his son with him. The little boy happened to be playing right outside her office door when I walked by so I started playing with him. At this point the guy and the manager were heading out of her office after the little boy. So I am standing with the kid and she says to her friend “ this is Serena Williams or is it Venus?” The guy says: Maybe you mean Serena she’s prettier of the two.” At that moment I ignored her damn comment smiled at the child and walked away in amazement.

I was offended for a few reasons: 1. You don’t know me like that to give me a “nickname”. 2. Don’t call me anything other than my name when “introducing” me to people. We had a property managers meeting within 10 minutes of this happening so I had to let this simmer for a while and pretend everything is all good. So here we are the next damn day experiencing the raft of people’s badass judgment when it comes to relating to people who don’t look like you. Again, I am not saying her intent was to be malicious. It’s just a classic case of NOT thinking before you freaking speak.

I went to HR, after 2 consecutive days of this bullshit I had to put this on record. I was fair when I spoke to the HR Director; I said I don’t think they meant real harm. But I do think they are getting a little too comfortable with me and they don’t know me like that. She asked how I wanted to handle the situation and I told her I didn’t want any drama just make note and I am moving on. (that was the end of the day Tuesday).

Today our senior VP called me to his office, the HR lady told him what was going on in his department. He again asked if I was okay and he wanted me to feel comfortable talking to him about anything. But in all honesty, I didn’t want this to blown out of proportion and I am not the ultra sensitive black woman you can’t joke with,lol. But I do need grown people to use your head and not be so thoughtless when it comes to interacting with different people.

What do you do???

noreply@blogger.com (Ms. Confessions) — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 23:45:00 +0000

So I got this email from my manager who is white. I'll admit she wasn't trying to offend me. I think in her own little retarded way she thought she was "bonding" with me by including me in on this email she sent to a few people in the office. But unfortunately I didn't find the following funny at all:

Little Johnny meets Barack Obama

Barack Obama was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes.
They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.
The teacher asked the president if he would like to lead the discussion on the word tragedy.'

So our illustrious president asked the class for an example of a 'tragedy.'

One little boy stood up and offered: 'If my best friend, who lives on a farm,
is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him that would be a tragedy.'
'No,' said Obama, 'that would be an accident.'

A little girl raised her hand: 'If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy.
I'm afraid not,' explained Obama. 'That's what we would call great loss.'

The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Obama searched the room.
'Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a trage dy?'

Finally at the back of the room, Little Johnny raised his hand. In a quiet voice he said: 'If the plane carrying you and Mrs. Obama was struck by a 'friendly fire' missile and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy.'

'Fantastic!' exclaimed Obama. 'That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?'

'Well,' says the boy, 'It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss.....and it probably wouldn't be an accident either.'

Operation Gradutation

noreply@blogger.com (Ms. Confessions) — Tue, 19 May 2009 00:18:00 +0000

Anyway, my mother and I had a great time together. I hadn’t seen her since Christmas. In addition to seeing me graduate, this was also an opportunity for her to meet the love of my life. My Guy and a dear friend planned a dinner party for me that took place after the graduation. I made sure all of my dear friends were invited because I really wanted to just spend the evening with the people who mean the most to me since my family is in L.A. I swear there were moments during the evening when it felt like I was celebrating my engagement. This was also a chance for my loved ones to meet and hang out with the love of my life. I wanted my friends to get to know him; I care about their opinions of us. More importantly I wanted my mom to love him. To have My Guy and my mom watch me walk across the stage and show me so much love and support; brings me to tears full of joy.

I have one of the coolest moms on the planet. Everyone enjoyed her just as much as she enjoyed them. One highlight I’ll share: so my mom decides to ask My Guy to dance, and at that point I thought okay she’s being cool. I didn’t recognize the song initially until the first verse begins and the song is “play that funky music”LOL. In case you didn’t know My Guy is white, so it was absolutely hilarious of her to display her humor while bonding with My Guy. The night was just too perfect.

Like most things, they come to an end. My mom left me yesterday afternoon. We went to the spa (my mother’s day gift) and had brunch before I dropped her off at the airport. I hate saying good-bye to her.

Its now time for My Guy to take a trip West bound to meet the rest of the gang…

Another Milestone....

noreply@blogger.com (Ms. Confessions) — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 12:17:00 +0000

This past weekend was great. I had a girlfriend come out to visit me, whom I haven't seen since graduating from undergrad (about 4 and half years ago). We decided back in January to have a reunion in the spring, and boy does time fly. While she was here it was important to me to have her meet My Guy. But even more special to me was sunday afternoon. My Guy's son just started his flag football season and he mentioned wanting me to attend a game or two. Well this past sunday I went along with my friend. The point of attending the games (in his opinion) was to merge the two worlds consisting of the people he loved the most meaning; me & and his son/mother of his son.

So I met her for the first time. I was a little nervous but nothing really out of the ordinary. The visit turned out great and we had a great time together. We sat out on the grass, watched the game, and had great conversation. I love My Guy and anyone he loves.

FYI...I'll post about my new job. Today is day 2 (yeah).

Hot Damn....

noreply@blogger.com (Ms. Confessions) — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 20:53:00 +0000

I just got my formal offer over the phone about 10 minutes ago. I decided to start on Monday (4/27) so I can take care of a few items while I have some time off. God is so good. I was starting to get a little anxious, because time was running out on sitting home and burning my savings account along with my unemployment checks. I was afraid I was going to have to take any job at this point. But everything happens for a reasons. My God, so many lessons I've learned from my last two jobs. I understand how to play this game on the corporate plantation. My only objectives are to always be positive and do my best. No more befriending my bosses on a personal level and no more getting caught up in office politics.

I am so grateful to not only land a job in my industry again but now I have so many opportunities in my reach. Oh and let's not forget, I am making more money than my last two jobs :) Yes God is Good!!!

Going Insane...

noreply@blogger.com (Ms. Confessions) — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 18:12:00 +0000

I wasn't going to post about this until I knew for sure what my fate is with this job. I am about to head back to their office for a 2nd interview with the director of HR. I have never had a follow up interview with HR directly. I am being positive, but a part of me wants this job so bad its scaring me. My interview is scheduled for 2:00pm today and its 1:13pm. I am about to leave but I needed to get this off of my chest and I didn't want to call anyone before this meeting. I am all talked out, we've rationalized the outcomes of this meeting enough...

Wish me luck!

Still On A High From A Great Weekend...

noreply@blogger.com (Ms. Confessions) — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 15:32:00 +0000

I can’t believe the week is at the halfway point. I am still on my high from having a great weekend. My Guy and I hit another milestone, we spent the entire weekend together. So we’re talking almost 72 hours of him and I. On Friday afternoon he informed me of having a “free pass weekend” meaning his son wanted to do his own thing with his friend instead hanging out with dad. So I met him at his house that evening, we didn’t really have any plans in place since things seem to just unfold as we went along. His friend and girlfriend were going to the movies that night and invited us to tag-along.

By the time his friend’s girlfriend reached My Guy’s house he decided we should drive to Okalahoma and visit the Winstar casino. It was so out of the blue; the idea seemed cool as hell so off we went. We had a great time lost some money but I love how spontaneous the trip was. On Saturday we all hung out again and I decided to go out and buy Easter egg dye and make baskets for our guys. Sunday was another good day together. I mentioned before for whatever reason I want to celebrate everything with My Guy. The weekend went very well and I can honestly say I never once felt tired of him or vice versa. However, I did appreciate my time back home on Monday. I won’t say I am ready to move in at this point, but its good to know we can spend a few days together and not want to kill the other after 24 hours.

Quick Catch Up....

noreply@blogger.com (Ms. Confessions) — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 14:25:00 +0000

School:
Its coming down to the wire, our commencement ceremony is May 16th. I will participate in the ceremony but I still have to take one class in order to receive my degree. I am torn between my feelings of being close to finishing. There’s a part of me that wants to stay in the world of academia and then there’s a part of me ready to see how high I can fly. But the state of the economy lingers in the back of my mind a little. Once I am done, I’ll be the first African American woman to receive a Masters of Science in Entrepreneurship from my school. I think that’s pretty cool.

This past weekend I participated in a business leadership challenge retreat, which was two days. We stayed at a local hotel and had intense 8-hour days full of getting to know what type of leader you are or can become. Part of the prep work was having observers take a 360 assessment of you. I was a little surprise by my findings. It appears I rated myself lower than my observers. I’m not sure if while taking the assessment I subconsciously tried to not appear too cocky? But at any rate it was a great weekend filled with a lot of self-discovery.

Job Search:
I recently went on a job interview (last week). This company called me out of the blue and I immediately jumped on the chance to interview. This opportunity couldn’t have come at a better time. I am starting to get a little restless in my search for another job. My biggest fear is taking a job that is not something I want to do. But this interview is exactly in my field and the company is big and there are plenty of chances to advance within. I was asked after my interview (last Friday) to take a personality assessment test online. I completed the test on Sunday morning, and now I am a sitting duck. I so want this job and the thought of not having any control at this point kills me.

My Guy:
We’re in such a good place. I swear I am still amazed at having such a loving boyfriend. Its almost surreal having in my life. I don’t know where I would be without having him by side. He’s so excited about my graduation and meeting my family for the first time, so am I. My mother and younger brother will be out here next month for the ceremony and I am looking forward to seeing them and having them meet My Guy.

Let's Play House...

noreply@blogger.com (Ms. Confessions) — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 01:23:00 +0000

Well a week after the mini drama, life is back on track for My Guy and I. While my life isn’t 100 percent all about my relationship, it’s the most exciting and fulfilling aspect of my life right now. We hit a HUGE milestone last week post our first major argument. I MET HIS SON!!! You may wonder why this has taken so long or think big deal. Folks I am the FIRST woman in my man’s dating life to meet his son, and it only took me 9 months to meet him, lol.

On a serious note, this was a huge deal to me because I know this is something near and dear to his heart. I met his son on total coincident. His mom was unable to pick him up from band practice and asked My Guy while I happened to be over his house at the time. The funny thing is, we spoke about making sure our first meeting was spontaneous or unplanned, and it worked out totally that way. The next thing I knew, we were on our way to pick him up and drop him off home. His son is a cutie and has a great personality (just like his daddy, lol). He’s 13 years old.

As I take a step back and look at how far we’ve come in such a short period of time, I am amazed. I also have a key to his house. I am officially a dog girl (well his dog). A week ago, I just jump in headfirst and began to bond with his dog and now I am in love. I bought the dog freaking outfits, Scooby snacks and other doggie treats, lol. He’s my little buddy now. I basically sleep there almost every night. I am spoiled at this point. I enjoy going to bed with him and waking up to his body next to mine. He draws me a bath every night I stay. I cook dinner (the few meals I can). We’re pretty much playing house. Even though I enjoy all of this time together, I can’t say I am ready to move out of my house and move into his. I still enjoy “my time”.

I'm In a Relationship: Part IV

noreply@blogger.com (Ms. Confessions) — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 16:46:00 +0000

Topic: My Guy is My Friend...

I am happy to say I am at a much better place today than yesterday. My Guy and I worked things out but the day was long and mentally draining. Wow, relationships are hard, beautiful, and yet meaningful all at the same time. I was cussed out several times over the phone and had email wars all yesterday, but at the end of the day I had to look deeper into myself and see the error of my ways and how My Guy’s feelings were innocently hurt by yours truly. I really owe a lot to a special person who sent me an incredible and insightful email about the situation.

The funny thing is, I’ve never met this special lady in person but we’ve admired each other’s work for quite some time. I will not put her on blast by saying her name, but I hope you don’t mind me sharing your email. Its because of your email, I realized my “friend” has indeed been my safety net and even though we will never be, he was always there when my relationships went south. I understand my friendship is highly inappropriate and My Guy is my safety net. I am 100 percent certain he has my back and would never hurt me. Thank You!!!

The Email:

I see your point of view but i definitely see his point of view...
i don't think that you wanted to hurt him at all you were just being there for a friend...but the simple fact is you and that friend can't be friends anymore...that's just the reality...you two have always been there for anything...and once you decide to move into a relationship wih someone else and want to build a future with them, that relationship has to take the backseat...it just does...

everything he is saying is valid, everything you are saying makes sense, but like he said he hasn't been with his son's mother for years, you weren't not to long ago with this guy...so it is a difference....

again i definitely don't think you meant anything by it but it hurt him...

one thing i know is that friendships are important but love, REAL LOVE is precious...and the two of you have to let it be...you can be cool, but i don't think you can be friends...

that's my two cents...i KNOW you two will work it out...its just one little test that you both can learn from and grow from TOGETHER!
if you need me call me

I’m In a Relationship: Part III

noreply@blogger.com (Ms. Confessions) — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 17:10:00 +0000

Topic: Jealousy

Last week I was over My Guy’s house hanging out, lying out on the couch watching TV. While we’re being lazy bums he decides to pick up my phone and look through it. At first I wasn’t really tripping, but then I noticed 10 minutes had passed and he was still looking through my phone. So I asked him for his phone since he’s all in my business. He hands it to me and I started going through his text messages. I noticed the name “Latisha” appear a few times, so I opened up the text message. I started at the bottom of the conversation and worked my way up when I felt a rage of anger and jealousy rush through my body. The gist of the conversation was they were planning to meet up and he was calling her “Baby” and she was teasing him for not seeing her in a while and “acting funny”. So as I read this shit I am wondering how do I bring this shit up?

I gave him back his phone and asked who was “Latisha” (I didn’t have too much tude). He was caught off guard and then said it was an old friend. I asked what kind of relationship they had because based off this text convo it looked suspect. He grabbed his phone a reread the message and then explained their relationship. They’ve been cool for a long time, never hooked up or anything close; they have that kind of relationship where they talk trash to one another (aka innocent flirting). He then acknowledges how the message could be misconstrued and quickly apologized and reassured me there was nothing to worry about. What I noticed at this point in our relationship is how it felt so perfect with no ill feelings. Until jealously showed her pretty face (on my part). This emotion is bound to happen when you are in love with someone and sense something may be infringing upon your “stuff”. He then mentioned a few instances that happened where he felt jealous about me. It was cute to hear that and how we both despite the occasional feelings of jealousy still trust each other 100%.

I trust and believe there’s nothing more to “Latisha”. Call me naïve but I don’t worry about him. In fact, he kept reassuring me the next few days after. But let me add that I do worry about us women. I’ve discovered on two separate occasions while out dancing women have tried to get at My Guy while its more than obvious he didn’t come alone. Its one thing for women to say “I didn’t know he had a girl”. But when you clearly see that man is with someone, don’t be so THIRSTY/desperate that you disrespect what’s going on with that couple. So I am going to need women to do a little better. Its not like My Guy is Mr. Super Model (he’s hot) but I think it’s the fact that he’s unavailable that makes him even more attractive, which is even more pathetic. Get your own Man!!!

I’m In a Relationship: Part II

noreply@blogger.com (Ms. Confessions) — Sat, 21 Feb 2009 19:37:00 +0000

Topic: Open Communication

We all say we want to be open and honest in our relationships but do we? I would say based off my past relationships I stuck to this rule 80 percent of the time (percentage got higher in my last two dealings). However, with My Guy I am making extra efforts to be upfront with my feelings. I use to avoid disclosing certain thoughts for the sake of preventing any misunderstandings or simply offending the other person. But what I am finding is sometimes it’s easier to say “You know what baby___ is bothering me” or “Baby I don’t like it when you do __”. I use to let little things stay in, and of course eventually they build up and come out later.

We have been fortunate so far has to having any major arguments and I think as long as we talk we’ll be okay. Wow, real relationships are a lot of work and it’s not about ME any more. As a result of our open communication I have complete trust in My Guy. To some this may appear naive, but I have no worries when it comes to my security level in our relationship. I truly believe when you’ve found the right person no one or nothing else will matter. We can all cheat at any given time. But the thought of breaking My Guy’s heart (because the guilt will force me to squeal) is way too much to bare. Not to mention, I truly don’t pay attention to other men like that. Don’t get me wrong I notice attractive men and I will always be an innocent flirt, but nothing goes past that moment and I don’t lie about having a man and being very happy.

SIDE NOTE***

So much has changed just from the few days I began a rough draft on this post. Thursday evening our relationship elevated to new heights. There’s a special connection My Guy and I share that made me really value the fact that he’s in my life. We both lost our fathers (his in 05 & mine in 06). It’s not a topic that I am open to sharing with anyone. However, that evening I had a “moment”. Moments are times when I am completely overwhelmed with grief of losing my father. I don’t have them too often, which may explain why they randomly appear and are often backed up emotions.

While we were in bed getting ready to sleep, I broke down and cried. This was the first time in front of him. He’s offered his ear, a hug any time I need. But I just don’t go there. He saw a very vulnerable side of me that night and it showed me how much he is there for me. There weren’t a lot of words; he just let me have my “moment”. I guess what’s triggering me to think about my father is the fact that he won’t meet My Guy. It breaks my heart because I know he would like him. It hurts me to acknowledge he won’t participate in my special day (my wedding).

For the first time I see my future with My Guy and its forcing me to deal with the passing of my father. I spoke to my mom yesterday and she wants me to have more “moments” so it doesn’t build up. I guess a part of me is now ready to deal with my grief, because I have someone in life to help me who relates to my pain…